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How to live a happy life: 10 simple rules. How to live happily ever after?


What is happiness

“In a sense, what we call happiness happens as a result of previously unforeseen satisfaction of long-term pent-up needs” – Sigmund Freud.

Philosophy and ethics are concerned with the study of happiness. In psychology, this issue was dealt with only in 1974. Psychology explores rather the influence of personality on the achievement of happiness and the influence of happiness on the health of the individual. That is, as always, the question is at the junction of sciences and is woven into different spheres of a person, which immediately shows the ambiguity of this phenomenon. Psychology considers happiness as a state, ethics – as a moral category (value), philosophy – as a way of thinking.

In the modern sense, the state of happiness within the framework of psychology is on a par with the search for the meaning of life and personal development. A person is happy when he understands and fulfills his purpose.

Happiness is not the same as joy, but joy is an indispensable element of a happy life. Although happiness is an ambiguous, changing phenomenon, the traits common to all people can be distinguished:

  • satisfaction of basic needs for security, food, rest, and so on (without this, no one will be happy, but for some people, only this is enough, others achieve higher needs (self-realization), then in case of their dissatisfaction they will not be happy);
  • versatile, full and harmonious life (physical, moral, intellectual, aesthetic spheres do not enter into contradictions).

I’ll make a reservation that in this article I don’t want to consider animal happiness (to drink, eat, sleep), or hedonistic. After all, we are people, higher beings, and therefore I want to talk about high standards of happiness. Then it presupposes the following elements:

  • spiritual and intellectual (knowledge, beliefs, culture, values, attitudes, morality);
  • material (health and financial independence, well-being).

But this is a theory that, without practice, remains only opportunities to be happy. All this is embodied in 3 types of activities: work (training), love (interpersonal relationships, communication) and creativity (way out of non-standard and difficult life situations).

Happiness as a neoplasm of personality goes through several stages:

  • personal happiness, not dependent on the happiness of other people (sometimes the unhappiness of others is important in order to feel even better);
  • happiness associated with the group with which a person identifies himself (other people are not important);
  • happiness only if all people are happy (but is it possible?);
  • happiness as the unity of man with nature (God, space).

The Dalai Lama identified two ways to achieve happiness

External – the desire to obtain the maximum amount of benefits, comfort, luxury and internal – spiritual development. Moreover, a conscious person who is in harmony with the world around him can be happy to a greater extent than a person who is constantly striving to receive material reinforcement. Of course, the material part of life cannot be excluded from life, but in the presence of internal development, a person knows how to use reasonably received resources for the benefit of his own family and society, and also always enjoys life and his own achievements.

It is important to notice the results, the development process, the beauty of the world, to live in the present day and moment. Happiness is not always a result, it is a state of mind, a feeling of joy from actions, striving for one’s own goals, helping others. Often, the path to a dream is also a joy, no less than an achievement. And the realization of abilities and care for loved ones help to feel their own significance and happiness in life.

Sages say: he who understands the world is in no hurry and catches every moment of life.

Indeed, in the hustle and bustle, we often do not notice something important – a favorite look, the first steps of a child, a smile of a passer-by, a sunny sunset or dawn. It is useful to give yourself a break, to look at the world through the eyes of a child who learns and notices the beauty. And happiness is also known by comparison. It often seems that everything is bad, but let us remember poor countries or disabled people – the realization comes that happiness is living, having shelter and food, and the rest can be created, improved, modified, found.

Happiness is multifaceted: it includes the presence of love, family, friends, living conditions, but some people attract good luck, good people, others – vice versa. Maybe you need to find inner happiness initially to get the outer attributes of a happy life?

Happiness and needs

If a person ceases to desire something, to strive for something, it means that he is stalled in personal development. It is known that there is no limit to perfection. Accordingly, complete satisfaction cannot be achieved. But the essence of happiness is that a person knows how to satisfy his new needs and achieve a new goal, makes plans and puts it into practice. He is happy that he is active and independent. He moves, develops and improves.

But here, too, there is a contradiction: a state that causes frustration and strong tension cannot be considered normal dissatisfaction. That is, if dissatisfaction is associated with unfulfilled expectations, losses, then it is perceived as a state of unhappiness. But if dissatisfaction is focused on the future, serves as an incentive to achieve something that a person has not yet had, then this is an element of happiness. As a rule, such dissatisfaction refers to creative activity.

The meaning of life and happiness

An interesting connection: the presence of the meaning of life gives us a state of happiness and harmony, but at the same time the very finding of happiness can be the meaning of life. What, then, is happiness-meaning? Perhaps the most generalized and universal answer would be: preserving one’s individuality (personal) in the context of social relations (general).

Remember how often you have heard or admitted yourself that the root of unhappiness is misunderstanding on the part of others, the inability to be yourself. The contradiction between the personal and the social is one of the most dangerous and destructive. An unfree person cannot be happy. Although freedom does not guarantee happiness. You need to have freedom and be able to use it, rationally dispose of this right.

Where to look for happiness

How to live a happy life: 10 simple rules. How to live happily ever after?

There are two main questions in this category: to make only yourself happy or to try to make other people happy? The second is not the best option. Think about the relativity of happiness. Where is the guarantee that your opponent sees the world the same way? Wouldn’t you be an obsessive advisor then?

No one can make other people happy, at least on purpose. By chance, for example, by inventing something – quite. But do you think during the creation process the author is guided by the idea of ​​making others happy? Unlikely. In the end, it remains that you can only make yourself happy.

Happiness ultimately comes from ourselves, our needs, values ​​and interests:

  • a person for whom the main value is health will be happy with material hardships;
  • a power-hungry person will never be happy, since there will always be little power and wealth;
  • a rich inner world will give much more happy sensations than a frequent change of scenery, people, and sights.

Our happiness depends on what brings us pleasure. This, in turn, is directly related to the needs of the individual. As a result, it turns out that happiness is connected only with our personality, with what we are. External factors influence happiness only by 8-15%. From this it turns out that you need to work on yourself first of all in order to be happy:

  • study your individual personality traits;
  • make a list of advantages and disadvantages;
  • to distribute the shortcomings to those that are amenable to correction and that need to be accepted;
  • make a plan to maintain and develop virtues;
  • draw up a plan for getting rid of shortcomings;
  • accept and love yourself
  • be friendly and open to new things;
  • understand your inner world, interests and needs;
  • develop a stable worldview and your own social position.

Happiness has two eternal enemies – pain and boredom. Try to eliminate from your life what causes these conditions. In turn, health and beauty (not so much physical as spiritual) are the basis of any happiness.

Try to change your thinking to positive (this is where happiness begins):

  • Why do we suffer sometimes? Because we give in to value judgments. If you do not rate your situation as good or bad, then you do not feel happiness or unhappiness. Try to evaluate your condition and satisfaction / dissatisfaction. Take note of what is oppressive and how you can change it. It is clear that we cannot do without an assessment, but try to make it more specific.
  • Try to talk about something other than what you don’t have. This usually creates a feeling of unhappiness, especially if left without attention and resolution. Think about what you have, but what it would be if it weren’t for this.
  • Realize that nothing and no one is perfect.
  • Do not get attached to things and people – everything that comes. Remember that the only constant in your life is you, but even then you are undergoing regular changes.
  • Constantly expand your comfort zone, circle of acquaintances and interests.
  • Get rid of the burden of the past with pleasure and ease.

You should not choose something from the outside world as a source of happiness. The outside world is unstable. The only thing that is always with us is our inner world. That’s what the work should be directed to. There is no need to look for happiness in another person, work, help to others. These elements, of course, should be included in the concept of happiness, but the base is our inner world.

At the same time, it should be understood that we experience not so much happiness from something achieved, but from the contrast between the new and the old (happiness and unhappiness). Therefore, it turns out that happiness is an unstable category, it cannot be permanent, but we can control it.

It is noted that congenital features also contribute to the possibility of finding happiness. Extroverts and people with unexpressed neuroticism have been shown to be happier than their opposites.

“After a period of happiness, joyful excitement and a feeling of fullness of life, the perception of what has been achieved will inevitably come for granted and anxiety, dissatisfaction and doing more will arise,” – Abraham Maslow.

How to enjoy life

How to live a happy life: 10 simple rules. How to live happily ever after?

The best way to learn to enjoy life is to develop your creativity. Our whole life is creativity. Creativity gives us new knowledge, benefits, achievements, aesthetic and moral pleasure.

Creativity consists of inspiration and work, and only 1% is allocated to the first element. You can create in 3 directions:

  • create spiritual and material values;
  • create or discover something new;
  • self-expression and self-development.

Creation of oneself, transformation of the surrounding world is also creativity. Creativity is a cross between work and rest. On the one hand, this is relaxation from the process itself, but on the other, it is purposeful efforts. Creativity makes us burn, rejoice, open up. If all life is perceived as a continuous field for creativity, then the feeling of flight and joy will permeate it “from” and “to”.

The modern world allows everyone to declare themselves. How? Online, of course. You can create a page on a social network, a group, a website and publish there author’s drawings, comics, articles, videos, poems. Moreover, I am sure that every creator will find his audience.

But this is not even the only option. Associations with artists, singers, poets are receding into the past. Today the term “creativity” has a much broader meaning. But it is important to remember about 2 main risks of a creative person:

  • Dependencies. It is no secret that many geniuses were accompanied by drug, alcohol or cigarette addiction. These substances give the state of happiness that is impossible at the time of the creative crisis. But our body cannot calmly accept these substitutes. Because of this, many famous people had to die early or end their careers.
  • Workaholism. The other extreme is getting endorphins (happiness hormones). With active mental activity, the body produces natural hormones, they are not harmful, unlike synthetic ones (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes), are not dangerous by “swing” and prolonged depression, but mental work for wear and tear devastates mitochondria – glucose stores, cell accumulators. When they are depleted and the level of endorphins is high, the blood begins to circulate faster, intracranial pressure rises, which can cause cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, death at the table during active mental activity is not fiction. For example, such a fate befell IM Tronsky, a Russian philologist and an inveterate workaholic.

From all of the above, the conclusion suggests itself: you cannot build happiness on one thing, you need to draw up your own multicomponent formula. This is important in order to regularly maintain a state of joy, satisfaction, expectation, inspiration, but not to overexert any system of the body. The golden mean and moderation are good in everything. You should not put happiness on one card, it is important to always have many options for insurance and safety.

Eat more plant foods

Whole grains, legumes, fresh vegetables, fruits and greens are the staple of the diet of all centenarians. They are not at all fans of meat, especially fatty ones. Typically, meat is served once a week and on holidays; most often it is lean pork.

How to live a happy life: 10 simple rules. How to live happily ever after?

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But food of plant origin for a long time energizes and gives a feeling of fullness, although it contains fewer calories than meat products. It is not at all necessary to become a vegetarian, but it is definitely worth giving up chemical sausages and sausages.

Drink a glass of goat milk daily

Goat milk is an affordable and super healthy product. Compared to cow, it has a much higher nutritional value, contains 11% more calcium, 25% more vitamin B6, 47% more vitamin A, 134% more potassium and 200% more niacin. Goat’s milk is a great way to combat iron deficiency and mineral deficiency in bones (and therefore with their fragility and fragility).

Treat your elders with respect

This advice may seem strange to someone, or at least have little to do with health. And yet, reverence for the elderly is an integral part of any culture of centenarians. For example, in Sardinia they cannot even think of sending their grandparents to a nursing home – this is a shame for the whole family.

Elderly people are surrounded by care and love, which they give in return to children and grandchildren. This allows them to receive care when needed (such as illness) and feel needed. This is a very important point.

Set yourself goals in life

The Japanese call it ikigai, the Costa Ricans call it plan de vida. This can be translated into Russian as “the reason why I wake up in the morning.” Every long-liver has something to do: someone looks after the garden, someone grazes cattle and butcher animals to feed their families, and someone is the spiritual advisor of the village.

Find an activity that brings meaning to your life. The goal to which you are going. The dream you want to come true. When there is something to wake up for, a sense of responsibility and self-importance appears, which does not fade away even at the age of 100.

Add variety to the movement

Small difficulties provide additional physical activity – an indispensable condition for health and longevity. Walk to work, use a bicycle instead of a car, choose stairs over an elevator, and walk in the park at lunchtime. Stand on one leg or squat when brushing your teeth. You can think of many such “sports entertainment”. The main thing is that they become a habit.

Keep active

Regular low-intensity exercise strengthens the cardiovascular system, has beneficial effects on muscles and bones, and improves overall health. Avoid grueling races and hard workouts with “iron” in favor of long walks. Italian shepherds, who are close to 90 years old, walk 8 kilometers every day. This helps to keep the body in good shape without destroying the joints, as happens, for example, with runners.

Do yoga

And it is not necessary to say that this occupation is not for a strong half of humanity. Do you often hear about female yogis? Yoga develops balance and coordination of movements. This means that it significantly reduces the likelihood of falls. By the way, falls and fractures are one of the most common causes of death in older people.

An added bonus is relaxation and respite for the brain. During yoga, you can disconnect from the whole world and put things in order in your thoughts, without rushing anywhere. Pauses are necessary to fully relax and escape from worries.

Make time for spouses and children

Invest in developing good relationships not only with the older generation, but also with the rest of your family. A cozy and friendly atmosphere at home helps to better cope with stress and strengthens the body’s defenses, helping to resist disease.

To create a sense of family unity, create rituals, such as a traditional Wednesday dinner or a Sunday stroll along the river. Be sure to celebrate all the holidays together. Play with your kids, take care of your marriage, and honor your parents.

As you can see, longevity isn’t just about eating and exercising. A positive attitude towards the world and others is also an important factor that influences extraordinary life expectancy. It is worth changing a little – and the gifts of fate will not keep you waiting long.

Share experiences, help others

Each person has his own mission in life, it is important to find it and realize it. Quite often we have special knowledge, skills, experience that can be useful to other people. Passing knowledge, helping people, we feel happiness, we make the world more beautiful. Even Carnegie wrote that the best way to reduce stress and find happiness is to help others; it is useful to do good deeds every day for loved ones or others.

A good, happy life is possible with the ability to live not only by one’s own interests, but by showing concern for others.

Always find a way out, reduce emotionality

In the life of any person, there are difficult situations that become important tasks, tests. The rules of a happy life involve taking life as an adventure, avoiding dramatization. Yes, life can be puzzling, but we can find the answer, and we will seek – “let’s see who is stronger.”

In such cases, it is important to include logic and avoid emotionality and worries. There is always a way out! The main thing is not to suffer, but to think and decide what to do, to find ways to change the situation for the better. A positive attitude here helps to believe in the best, and high self-esteem helps to believe in oneself.

Sleep as much as necessary

Sleep has a huge impact on our lives. If you want to be successful and productive, then don’t forget about healthy relaxation. It is commendable that you can sleep two hours a day and function almost perfectly, but your body will not forgive you. He doesn’t care if you have an urgent report or session. He needs rest.

Calm, only calm

The problem of a happy life is eternal as the world itself, happiness is possible if there is inner satisfaction with oneself, life and peace of mind. This is the most difficult thing to keep calm in any situation, to develop endurance, immunity to the troubles of life. Of course, optimism and meditative techniques help, as well as self-control – aggression will never help in a difficult situation, only reason and understanding of cause and effect.

Quit smoking now

Scientists have long established that smokers shorten their lives by at least seven years and, in the long run, get nothing but illness and disgusting health. The faster you quit, the more birthdays you will meet.

Don’t let go of your thirst for knowledge

People who have lived long and happy lives followed one rule: they tried to learn and learn as much new as possible. Your education does not end at school. Try to learn something new every day. Indeed, in our time, self-development has become such an easy and accessible process. We are surrounded by information everywhere. We can read a book, go online and find absolutely everything there. But don’t forget about healthy communication. Your friends can also tell you a lot of new and interesting things.

Become a dreamer

All happy people are dreamers. They strive upward and are not afraid to fall. In fact, such individuals are friendly with failure, because it is an integral part of their growth and development. Don’t be afraid to take risks and win too. Only by trying something new will you find out what you are capable of.

Be sociable

Your sociality is one of the most important aspects of a long and happy life. Just arrange a meeting with friends you haven’t seen for a long time. Call your grandmother, aunt, or nephew. You will immediately notice that there are people around you who care about you. Simple communication can cheer you up at least until the end of the day. But a good mood is also a guarantee of longevity.

Creativity in your life

Creativity helps to release all your genuine emotions and feelings. It will allow you not only to create something unique, but also to enjoy the process itself, to manifest your inner self, not to experience the everyday chains of being. It is required to discard all your inner fears and complexes, the fear that You will be judged. Often you need to defeat the general opinion in order to be truly joyful and happy.

Only you yourself can make yourself and your life happy! Do not look at others, discard all prejudices and fears. Just start living the way you like it! As soon as you start adhering to these tips, you will immediately feel a surge of happiness and positiveness into your life. …

This concludes the article. I will talk about other interesting things later, in this article you learned how to live even happier! Put ” I want more ” (Thumbs up) and subscribe to the channel. You will love it, I promise. There is still a lot more interesting!


  • Living a happy life isn’t always easy. This will take a lot of effort and strive for awareness. In the end, the result will justify all efforts.
  • Try to make an effort every day for your own happiness. Soon it will become a habit and it will become much easier for you.
  • Be grateful to people and the world. Notice the good moments and kind people, and always remember that the right attitude and support of loved ones make life wonderful.

If you like to drink, then do it wisely.

This is one of the most important tips for future centenarians. People who do not smoke, exercise, eat healthy food and drink wisely live 14 years longer than those around them who do not. It is better, of course, not to consume at all, or to limit yourself to one glass of whiskey or wine.

Don’t go too far with this

What brought you joy and happiness once may not work the second time. Too many good things can start not to look good if “things” start to feel like a routine or an expectation. In this case, set healthy and reasonable boundaries for yourself and do not overstep them.

Sources used and useful links on the topic: -zhit life /–5aa237e8168a9146b7e18dab BF% D1% 80% D0% BE% D0% B6% D0% B8% D1% 82% D1% 8C-% D1% 81% D1% 87% D0% B0% D1% 81% D1% 82% D0% BB % D0% B8% D0% B2% D1% 83% D1% 8E-% D0% B6% D0% B8% D0% B7% D0% BD% D1% 8C -sposobov-prozhit-schastlivuyu-zhizn /

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