8 Tips on How to Survive Cheating and Start with a Clean Slate
Did you know that cheating can lead to a happier and stronger marriage? At least that’s what British psychologists say. The main thing is to correctly get out of a depressed state after an affair of a loved one on the side. Experts say that if the person who has been betrayed manages to cope with the pain and disappointment, a new and better stage in the relationship can begin for him. Learn how to recover and restore trust after the betrayal of the second half, from our material. Cheating is one of the most common reasons for divorce. However, experts say that the right way out of an unpleasant situation can improve the lives of both partners if they want to continue the relationship. How to set yourself up for a positive wave and make you move forward?
Here are tips from leading British psychologists to help you cope with depression and start a new story with a clean slate.
1 Don’t pass by
Do not try to "pass by" the betrayal of a loved one. Emotional pain affects the brain in the same way as physical pain, so it needs to be treated as well. The first step to healing is awareness. The faster you move through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, the sooner you will reach acceptance.
2 Reconsider relationships
If one of the partners has changed, the relationship will never be the same as before. If you want to keep them, you need to start building a life together again. Do not demand that everything be your way just because your significant other is to blame. Discuss issues together that make you both feel resentful and unheard.
3 Stop hanging out with ex-lovers
In order for your relationship to reach a new level, you need to cut off all ties on the side. This applies to both partners. Remove ex-lovers from your social media friends list and tell loved ones to never mention them again.
4 Transform your appearance
Change your image – it will raise morale. Studies by American scientists have proven that a haircut during an emotional upset is energizing. But don’t overdo it! The results of other experiments have led scientists to the conclusion that self-regulatory skills are weakened when we try to drown out anger or frustration with drastic changes in appearance. It is better if these are gradual minimal transformations.
5 Find People You Really Trust
If you decide to stay with a partner after infidelity, then, of course, you do not want to spoil his reputation in the circle of acquaintances. However, you will need people to share what you have been through. Tell your closest friends about your pain, preferably those who have been married for a long time and have experienced storms in family life. You can also share your problems in thematic groups on social networks or seek help from a psychologist.
6 Be Prepared For Psychological Trauma
The severe emotional shock caused by the news of infidelity can lead to the onset of symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. You may experience increased anxiety and hypersensitivity to any approaching danger, as well as suffer from panic attacks. Subsequently, you may be haunted by memories of how you learned about your partner’s infidelity, or visual images of his betrayal. Try using calming techniques such as deep breathing for a minute or describing your surroundings out loud. If you are worried about insomnia and panic attacks, be sure to consult a specialist.
The most unifying force after betrayal can be a new common goal. This will increase your self-confidence in the future, but it is important to remember not to compete with your partner. You can save together for a new home or vacation. Try to try something new every week – watch a TV series, go to a cafe, or explore unfamiliar walking routes. This will increase your dopamine levels in your blood and help you feel happier.
8 Keep a diary to talk about your feelings.
Recovery from depression takes a long time. This is an uneven process: sometimes it seems to you that everything is left behind, and the next day you are again covered by a wave of hopelessness. Start keeping a journal, describing your feelings and emotions, as well as attempts to set goals and move forward. The process will improve your mood, and rereading the notes will help you realize the progress in the relationship. No one says that surviving the betrayal will be easy and painless. But if you and your partner can handle this, your relationship will become much stronger and sparkle with new colors.