Most often, people think about their social contacts and relationships during periods of personal crises. This is the time for reassessing values and achievements in life, setting new goals. Reappraisal of the environment is also included in the spectrum of the “pondered”.
In addition to crisis periods, external factors, namely, other people, also influence the actualization of the question of the environment. The most common situation:

– Son, you need to communicate more! – turns the mother to her son, who enthusiastically puts on a scientific experiment in chemistry.
– I don’t need it.
– How will you live? That you have been sitting in your room with your chemistry for 5 years now? Go out with people and talk!

A typical situation of a collision of two worlds – an extrovert and an introvert. The teenager does what he loves and does not care about other people. Naturally, there is a minimum of contacts in the form of relatives and classmates, salespeople in the store. And he doesn’t need any more, he is happy. Mom is indignant and sincerely does not understand how you can live without people, because she herself loves to communicate and spend time in a company. Who is right or wrong here? No one. By virtue of their temperaments, both live according to their nature and are quite happy with themselves.

If other people (parents, relatives, loved ones, friends, colleagues) influence the need for changes or expanding the social circle, you should think about how much you personally need it. Do you really need a wider social circle than you have today?

If you are an introvert by nature, then you simply cannot have many friends, girlfriends and endless parties. If an introvert begins to live out of his nature and demonstrates miracles of eloquence and friendliness, then this will soon lead to exhaustion and a return to the status quo. If the desire to expand and diversify your social circle is based on your desire and need, then you should sort out the data on the current state of affairs on the shelves.

Your motivation

It is very rare for a person to have no social circle at all. He lives alone, does not go anywhere and does not communicate with anyone. The recluse. Most often, for example, communication with relatives and loved ones suits, but the circle of communication with the opposite sex is very narrow. Or at work with colleagues is not friendly.

Follow-up actions and steps should be very specific and depend on the question “Why do I need to expand my circle of friends in this particular part?”

After all, communication with the opposite sex is a very broad concept. The need for such may come from both the need for frequent sexual relations with different partners, and the desire to find a life partner and get married. Accordingly, your motivation plays a key role, because pickup and finding a spouse are two different things that require a completely different approach to implementation.

2 Cultural audience at a cultural event

Do you like rock? Buy a ticket to a concert of your favorite musician. Enthusiastic about the work of a famous photographer or artist? You have a direct road to a gallery or an exhibition. Invited to a buffet after the screening of the film? Do not refuse in any way. Art lovers are as emotional people as its creators. And, most likely, they will be bursting with the desire to discuss what they saw or heard. Do not refuse a conversation, be active yourself – and your circle of contacts will become larger.

3 Friendship and service

There is no place for personal relationships at work. If you are overly jealous of this principle, it is quite possible that the time has come to “let go of the reins” a little. Of course, obsequious friendship is not worth it. But if you suddenly feel that a colleague can potentially become your good friend, do not refuse to spend the evening talking after work, going to the movies or going for a run.

3 Establish yourself as a source of value

When meeting a large number of people, you have to “hook”. Nothing engages as much as the attitude towards the donor. First, really listen to what they have to say and imagine if you were them. You must see the world through their eyes. Second, be prepared to share stories, contacts, or quick tips.

When you meet new people, there are some psychological principles that determine whether they want to meet you again or not. It works on an unconscious level. One of the most important principles is the giver / receiver relationship. If they feel that you only care about yourself, the connection will not happen.

You can portray the giver’s attitude in two ways. First, you need to truly listen to what they have to say, visualize the world through their eyes, and give your opinion on their stories and situations.

The second way is to prove that you are willing to share similar stories about what they are talking about, or introduce them to someone who can help them.

Mind and enthusiasm

For example, a young man who leads a humble life wants to change it dramatically. He begins to read books on self-development, attends seminars and trainings. But when he comes home, he hears only ridicule in his address. This can severely undermine resolve. He may succumb to fear, return to the old way of life.

The influence of the environment can be seen in the example of giving up bad habits. If a person tries to quit smoking, then he will sooner succeed in the company of nonsmokers than among those who pick up a cigarette in any situation.

Success

With regard to success, a person is always on the same level as his inner circle. The people around are not only a source of psychological influence, but also information.

For example, a person wants to save up some money and start his own business. Close friends who like to have a good rest often invite him to various establishments, where he spends large sums. If he does not change the environment, success will not work.

How to form the right social circle

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Keep your distance from negative people

Avoid people who are constantly unhappy with everything, life for them is so terrible that you can go to a coffin even now. They are energy vampires feeding on your energy. If you do not get rid of them, they will suck all the juices out of you, and you will not be able to realize yourself: everything will fall out of your hands.

Make friends with those who can be helpful

Stick to successful and cheerful people, from whom the energy gushes. If in childhood it was difficult to form your social circle, because parents and teachers influence it, then in adulthood you can choose your friends yourself.

Try to make as many acquaintances as possible in the area in which you want to grow. It is difficult to communicate with strong and purposeful people, but it is they who will be able to temper your psyche, form the correct worldview, which will complement the overall picture of life. Imagine that they just become important pieces of the puzzle in your understanding of peace and success. You do not need to completely change your worldview, it needs to be supplemented – this is reasonable and correct.

If a person does not have a goal, for example, to go in for parachuting, then it is very unlikely that he will have friends parachutists. This can only happen if he intersects with them by chance in some other sphere. If a person is not interested in business, then he is unlikely to make business friends. Again, only by chance, if they collide on other interests. Therefore, you need to choose not a social circle, but an activity.

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Do not deceive yourself

If you are tempted to make friendship with a person, because you have felt a “kindred spirit” next to you, this is an extremely cunning self-deception! You will try to surround yourself only with deeply kindred souls, you will very quickly feel negative changes, both on an individual and social level. Understand that you are pushing away those parts of yourself that you know less, so you will never see the same features in that “stranger” that because of this you don’t feel “your own”, and it’s just such a person who could help you open up fuller.

The magic is not in the instant recognition of a “soul mate”, but in the moment when you accept the possibility of your own transformation through communication with a person who is not like you.

Why do you think most people who have not achieved a better life speak badly about the successful and wealthy? Because every person who does not have influential people in his social circle, focusing on his selfish interests, prefers to believe that everyone around him is to blame for his bad luck and misfortunes. Unfortunately, most people find it easier to give up and feel sorry for themselves than to go towards their goal and achieve new heights. It is better and easier to be a good and hurt person than a fighter for your own happiness. Decide who you want to be …

Appearance

If you are an open and very friendly person, but those around you are in no hurry to get to know you and get closer, then most likely you are not very tidy. Dirty hair, bad breath, stale or wrinkled clothes – all this repels not only strangers, but also existing friends. Not everyone dares to say to their face that you need to wash or brush your teeth, so watch yourself. And if this is not part of your plans, then do not complain.

Facial expression

People who are smiling and cheerful are quicker to win over those around them, in contrast to sullen characters. Who would you rather sit with on the bus, a smiling old woman or a haughty girl with a displeased expression on her face? The answer is obvious. So try to make sure that the corners of your lips are more often raised in a smile. She builds relationships between people better than negotiations.
The surrounding people involuntarily smile in response and are drawn to the friendly interlocutor. This method gives excellent results, provided the smile is genuine. Because a fake one only causes anger and irritation.
If your smile is tight and you can’t get another smile, practice in front of a mirror. Periodic exercise will pay off – you will become more welcoming, and your social circle will gradually grow.

Manners

Even if you are neat and smiling, but your manners leave much to be desired – do not count on new acquaintances. People tend to shy away from those who speak loudly or (even better!) Swear in the street, spit through their teeth, laugh out loud, or just behave defiantly in society.
Learn the rules of conduct on the street and indoors, remember how to behave in various institutions. This is useful not only to replenish your circle of friends.

Where to find the right people

To change social circle, a person must attend events where you can meet people with similar interests.