What should never be done for a man
A woman in love is often ready to do anything for the sake of the chosen one, others go so far as to sacrifice personal happiness in the name of relationships. But not every sacrifice is justified. Especially for those who love songs about “I’m behind him, I’m sorry, pride" and poems about “I can give everything that I have and will have for you”, we talk about sacrifices that go not only to the detriment of relationships, but also your self-esteem.
Personal boundaries in a couple: why they need to be set at the beginning of a relationship
There is such a common opinion that a woman in a relationship should be wise and flexible. Only then will family happiness await her. But sometimes flexibility becomes so strong that it resembles a deflection: for the sake of her man, a woman is ready to do everything, even what disgusts her. What is this situation about? About personal boundaries that they forgot to set.
Personal boundaries are a set of rules, principles, foundations that must not be violated. Why not arrange them at the very beginning of the relationship?! But no, in the beginning we all want to appear especially empathic, obedient. Over time, when you feel more confident in a relationship, you remember about personal boundaries and things may not change for the better.
I know women who adapt to men to the last, until at some point their roof is blown off and they start screaming. And the man falls into a stupor: “Where is my obedient woman who endured everything?”
The other extreme is when a woman dissolves in a relationship. She does only what is allowed by a man, she is ready for any risks or adventures, just to be with him. For example, there was a woman such a laugher, the soul of the company. And now strict clothes and talk about serious things. Most often, women do this not of their own free will, but in the hope of maintaining a relationship. And so with every concession they lose themselves. It is not always easy to catch these total changes. A simple exercise will help – you will need a sheet of paper and a pen. Try to write literally 5-7 points, what you were before, before this relationship. And then compare and think about why you came to this point B. Is this your conscious decision?
“Pyatikhatka borrow”: what should not be done for the sake of a man?
A friend took a million on credit to help a man get out of debt. And he got out and faded away with his mistress. I will never tell her: "It’s my own fault." Because there is no shame in loving. But sometimes women are ready for anything, just to prove to him "I love you" and receive in response "I love you too." This evidence can ruin everything. I have collected for you things that you should not do for the sake of a man.
Help financially. Even if he has a leaky wallet and he has nothing to eat, remember: you can always find a job. Feeding a family is not about “want-want”. It’s about the need. Do not take away initiative from him and do not put him on your neck
Give expensive gifts. Gifts must be of equal value. If he gives you flowers on holidays, and you save half your salary for a python briefcase, this will not lead to good things. First, you can humiliate him with expensive gifts if he cannot afford one. Or you’ll just attract an abuser into your life
Pity. Even if he will complain to you about life. Pity is not a sign of a deep relationship, it is a sign that you are turning from a beloved woman into a vest or a rescuer who will pull him by the ears out of desperation.
Change appearance. Of course, you can change visually, but let it be your decision. No one has the right to decide for you how long the skirt will be, what color the hair will be. Don’t let a man push you to the standards. You are unique and beautiful in your own right.
"I deserve this love"
What I hear in these words: “I do not feel that I can be loved just like that. I need to do something to get him to accept me.” But how can you earn what is rightfully yours?! You are born worthy of love, and you do not need to prove it. No need to adapt to the wishes of a partner or step over yourself, try to conquer him. You deserve love because you are you.
When you understand this, you no longer need to hold a man or beg for care. You just get it. Because this is real, not "suffered" love, and you deserve it. And remember: it’s never too late – to start appreciating and loving yourself, not to betray for the sake of a man, it’s not too late to learn to say "no" when you don’t want something. It’s never too late to put yourself first.
Photo: frame from the movie "Match Point"