Cheating is a loss of loyalty, a betrayal of the feelings of a loved one or the interests of a group (or more) of people. However, the scope of its definition is rather vague.

Can a guy who is in a relationship and occasionally view pornography be accused of cheating? Is it cheating when a wife flirts with other men to boost her self-esteem? Or is infidelity just physical contact? And again: is a kiss with another partner a betrayal or not?

More often, adultery means sex on the side. However, in fact, the boundaries of treason are determined by each person individually. That is why it is better to discuss this topic right away in any relationship. And now some numbers:

75% of men and 45% of women cheat on regular partners. These statistics often fluctuate, which proves: not everyone admits (even incognito);
every 10th child does not grow up with a biological father (and does not always know about this);
if a person suspects his partner of cheating, the chance that this is really true is 85%;
55% of guys deny real betrayal, even if they are “backed up” and the evidence is obvious;
girls are more likely to cheat when they are 25-34 years old. The main reason is dissatisfaction with sex life;
84% of husbands and 68% of wives would cheat on their spouses, provided that they never knew about it.

Aren’t they impressive statistics? Free relationships seem to be the norm for many, especially given the modern way of life. Some do not consider oral sex as a betrayal. There are also those who do not consider sexual intercourse with a person of the same gender as a “trip to the left.”

All these points of view have a right to exist. However, when entering into a new relationship, it is better to immediately make sure that your own views on this issue coincide with the opinion of the beloved person. So, just in case.

Selfishness

Selfishness is inherent in man by nature. Each person, to one degree or another, does something for the benefit of his comfort. When something in life does not suit us, we try to make changes in it. And often, we rarely pay attention to whether someone will suffer from our changes or not. When dissatisfaction arises in the relationship between partners, then there is a desire to correct this situation, filling it with new feelings, emotions, impressions, etc. … And when egoism prevails in a person, he can decide to betray for his personal satisfaction.

Weakness

Many people are weak and looking for easy ways. Agree, it is much more difficult to talk with your partner, pour out your soul, try to find a compromise, at a time when the relationship is bursting at the seams. Working on relationships is a tremendous job. While changing, satisfying their sexual desires … Nothing could be easier … Weak people and choose the easy way of betrayal.

Frivolity

When a person is windy, frivolous by nature, then he can easily betray. Such one lives one day, not thinking about the consequences, about the feelings of people. They live by the principle – come what may. Note that such a person can betray a loved one, being in the so-called state of passion. To be more precise, with alcohol abuse, it happens that consciousness turns off, and they do not give account of their actions. They are driven by desires, lower needs that are not controlled by consciousness during this period of time. And if they were in an adequate state, they would never have changed. However, due to excessive drinking, they will.

These signs correspond to all traitors. But it is necessary to understand that the male and female psychology of infidelity is fundamentally different from each other. Men and women have a different perception of the very fact of betrayal. Men cannot understand feminine logic. As well as the motives that drive women in the moment of infidelity. Guys resort to cheating to find novelty. They go to such a betrayal because of the inner instinct of a hunter and a conqueror. And every new girl is a trophy for them. The man had sex and then, immediately, forgot about this girl. With a woman, everything is much more serious. She seeks psychological satisfaction, which is expressed in admiration for her, care and affection directed towards her. A girl resorts to cheating when she sees in another person a better quality than her current partner. She is driven by the desire for a better future

The nature of treason and the definition of this concept

Infidelity is a betrayal that our society is guided by, but in reality it is subtle, almost imperceptible actions that destroy relationships. When partners don’t choose each other day in and day out, trust and commitment is undermined.

About choosing a person from day to day is a topic for a separate article. But the logic behind this dictum is this: when two people decide to stay with each other every day throughout their lives, this is a deliberate choice that is the key to staying true. How can a person cheat on his beloved if his choice is made every day? “I want to live one more day with you, because I choose you, because you are the best for me, of all the people I know, I decide to be with you, because I love and admire you. “When a person lives with such a thought, then loyalty is guaranteed.

But what to do when people stay with each other unconsciously? What happens when their life together is a necessary measure? Partners may be aware of this disloyalty to each other, but not reject it, because “thinking about betrayal and unwillingness to be next to each other is much worse than the actual separation.” This is not true. Anything that violates a treaty of trust, mutual trust, and respect can be disastrous.

Betrayal is based on two building blocks: deception (not revealing your true needs to avoid conflict) and seeking an emotional connection outside of your current relationship. And it doesn’t matter what kind of connection arises on the side. It could be a harmless kiss, or even a blow job!

An interesting fact: about 60% of people do not consider oral sex to be a full-fledged betrayal. Psychologists and psychotherapists often hear phrases from their clients during consultations, such as: “But she just gave me a blowjob!” or “There was just a kiss on the lips between us!”. It doesn’t matter what kind of arguments they make. The fact remains – in any case, this is a full-fledged betrayal, whether the partners want to admit it or not.

Emotional deception

Platonic friends find it easy to connect day after day in life situations. Sometimes people tend to call such partners “de facto wife (cohabitant)” or “de facto husband (cohabitant)”. Even friendships at the gym or local coffee shop can jeopardize a home bond. But why is this happening? This non-sexual relationship can lead both parties to share intimate details about each other’s life. That doesn’t make it a betrayal. What makes it a betrayal is if your partner gets upset about things you’ve shared or is uncomfortable watching the interaction.

If you exaggerate, then absolutely any action that can hurt your partner and is treason, regardless of how far your actual actions go. Even if you are not connected with sex or intimacy with this friend, the mere admission of closeness to them (albeit simply emotional) is enough to consider it cheating.

Here’s an example: A husband (for example, Vladimir) first learns about his wife’s sexless relationship when they threw a Christmas party. Let’s call her Polina. She never mentioned Mikhail, the new manager of her department. At the party, Mikhail seems to know about Polina’s whole life. He even brought their son a cherished toy, his favorite transformer.

Vladimir looks at his wife with a shocked expression on his face. Her shy look makes Vladimir feel even worse. When he is alone with her after the party, Polina begins to argue with him about her friendship with Mikhail. She tells Vladimir that “it’s just a gesture that doesn’t mean anything,” because she and Mikhail are “just friends”.

She then turns against her husband and protects Mikhail. She accuses her husband of being irrationally jealous and tells him that it was for this reason that he did not know about Mikhail at all. Vladimir feels that there is nothing irrational in his jealousy. Whether she admits it or not, his wife is cheating. The evidence lies in her secrecy.

5 Signs of Your Partner’s Friendship That Can Be Boldly Considered More Than “Just Friendship”:

Was this friendship hidden from your spouse?
Do you answer questions about this friendship with empty phrases like “don’t worry,” or do you just get discouraged?
Does your partner refuse to end this friendship at your request?
Have you violated the boundaries of your feelings or showed disrespect?
Is this boyfriend / girlfriend an example or arises when the relationship is going through a bad time?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, the friendship may be too close. Use Dr. John Gottman’s conflict plan from his book What Makes Love End? to talk to your partner about the matter. Otherwise, this situation has every chance of getting out of control.

What is Physical Cheating?

You know perfectly well that sex can be different. Surely you had partners with whom sex did not become a reason for dating. Well, or friendly sex. In general, intimacy without emotional outbursts. Agree that there is nothing deadly in this. It is this kind of sex that underlies the concept of “physical adultery”.

Is it worth forgiving such trips to the left? How humiliating are they for a victim of adultery? In such a situation, everyone decides for himself and sets priorities. Before you burn your bridges, think about what you are missing. Just don’t start shouting now that the traitors should be executed. Reason with a cold heart. As one lady friend used to say: “If your husband gives his mistress a diamond ring, and you a diamond necklace – calm down! You have the status of a wife! ” It is somewhat similar to the position of an ostrich with its head in the sand, but there is something in it …

People are prone to physical adultery purely genetically. The fact is that when we were still running around with clubs, we tried to reproduce as much and as often as possible. But! Men have more reasons to “drive to the left”. As long as his female carries one child and then feeds him, she is unlikely to be able to participate in this marathon immediately. And a man can die the death of the brave, without leaving a sufficient number of descendants. As a result, he is looking for another female. And so in a circle.

But we do not live in primitive times! But you can’t argue against genetic memory. Women, by the way, are in no way inferior to men, judging by the statistics.

The traumatic factor of emotional cheating

Studies that have been conducted by scientists from the University of Texas have shown that the traumatic factor of emotional cheating is no less than from cheating on the physical level, especially when it comes to the perception of the problem from the point of view of female psychology.

This data was obtained from a survey of 400 male and female volunteers. At the same time, not only sex, but also hugs with innocent kisses were considered as physical treason. With regard to emotional betrayal, then everything looks much more complicated here. By it you can mean:

Unrealized feeling of love;
Emotional intimate friendship.

These polls have confidently proved that the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity regard emotional and physical betrayal in exactly the same way. Moreover, often emotional closeness for women is much more important than physical closeness, and that is why emotional betrayal is perceived by them much more sharply.

Therefore, they react so sharply to the fact that their loved one opens up to his new girlfriend more than to herself. Thus, she is simply jealous of a rival who took her place in frank conversations with her beloved.

Is a kiss considered cheating

In the graphs above, you can see that the opinion of men and women about whether a kiss is considered cheating varies greatly. Men treat them more lightly than women. But here it is worth focusing on the nature of the kiss, because one type shows a friendly attitude, and the other shows passion.

On the cheek

In European countries and among young people in Russia, it is very popular to kiss friends on the cheek when meeting and saying goodbye. This gesture does not carry any intimate or romantic background. In some cases, even unfamiliar people are bestowed with such kisses to show their friendliness.

An innocent kiss on the cheek can mean:

friendly sympathy;
gratitude for help;
part of the greeting and farewell ceremony.

If your partner always behaves like this with acquaintances, there is no point in being jealous and considering the kiss as cheating – this is stupid.

Light kiss on the lips

It’s about a quick, fleeting kiss in which the lips barely touch each other. Do not rush to attribute it to betrayal, because passion is not felt here either.

When interacting with best friends, girls often exchange light kisses to show their tenderness. It plays the same role as the kiss on the cheek above, but only more personal.

If this way of greeting and saying goodbye to people of the opposite sex seems unacceptable to you, calmly discuss this issue with your partner. Tell us about your feelings, what it hurts, ask to replace this gesture with a kiss on the cheek.

Suffice it to recall Comrade Brezhnev, who loved to give men a three-time kiss. But there is no need to say that this is a manifestation of sexual attraction.

Accidental kiss

The reason for such a kiss can be the joy of a decisive goal of your favorite team or a successfully passed exam. It happens on emotions, the explosion of feelings cloudes the mind and you want to throw out a pleasant emotional tension. More often than not, it means nothing and does not repeat itself.

Although, of course, if at that moment the soul mate was nearby, and I wanted to share emotions with another person, then this person is emotionally closer.

Drunk kiss

Under the influence of alcohol, a festive atmosphere and a good mood, a kiss with another person can occur. Here the situation is controversial:

on the one hand, drunk people have poor control over their actions, and can often make a mistake, which they themselves will regret in the morning;
on the other hand, under the degree people’s inner limits fall, and they do what they wanted to do for a long time, but were afraid.

Being drunk may not fully justify a kiss, but it is still considered a mitigating circumstance. Discuss the situation, find out the reasons for the kiss, and agree not to drink so much in the future. If a person cannot control himself while drunk, it is better to abstain from alcohol.

Real passionate kiss

It is impossible to confuse a passionate love kiss with the usual sign of attention and friendship. It is long-lasting, the eyes are closed with pleasure, the hands touch the partner and the body seem to merge into a single whole.

Sometimes the situation is obvious.

Such a kiss is considered cheating or its beginning, because it hides desire, passion or even love. It cannot be explained by friendship or politeness, because the presence of feelings is immediately evident from the behavior.

Perhaps there was no direct sexual intimacy yet, but formally the betrayal has already taken place. Most men and women confidently call a passionate kiss cheating.

How is the consideration of cases

Criminal cases of treason are being investigated by the central office of the FSB, and the accused are being transported from the regions to Moscow. The defendants do not have to hope for a recognizance not to leave or house arrest. They are awaiting trial in Lefortovo, the strictest isolation ward in the capital.

In “Lefortovo” there are only 6 rooms for meetings of lawyers and prisoners. Lawyers talk to their clients once every two weeks; lawyers have to draw lots to distribute seats. If the case file contains information about the state secret, the lawyer is forbidden to get acquainted with them in full.

Most of the regulations governing the classification of information as state secrets are also classified as secrets.

Over the 23 years of the existence of the article about the betrayal of the Motherland, 93 people have been convicted. The only acquittal was in 2000. Courts often take the side of the accusation, especially in cases of espionage and disclosure of state secrets.

According to the human rights association of lawyers and journalists “Team 29”, the actual guilt in the Russian criminal system is determined by the investigator, and the court only chooses the term of punishment. Therefore, judges often commute the sentence. Team 29, which defends some of the accused in cases of treason and espionage, connects such decisions with doubts of the court itself about the guilt of the defendant.

Since the mid-2000s, the number of prosecuted cases of high treason has been growing, but at the same time, the legislation under Chapter 29 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Crimes against the foundations of the constitutional order and state security” is being tightened.

Since 2008, the accused have no right to demand that cases be tried by a jury, and since 2012, the articles on treason, espionage and disclosure of state secrets have been expanded: with the wording “other help”, “another case” and “security” instead of “external security”.

Random

Accidental cheating often occurs under the influence of alcohol or other liberating substances. But not all, drunk, go “to the left”. Accidental betrayal turns out to be such only in one case out of 1000. In the rest, you need to look for a reason.

Suppose a person cheated on you and comes, claiming his innocence and arguing it with alcohol. If you are ready to forgive, you need to understand what prompted the person to do the mean act. And, having found out the reason, do everything possible to prevent repeated infidelity.

Single and systematic.

“If he changed it once, he will change it the second time” – a myth. Adultery can really happen once and never repeat. Because the person realized his mistake. Or he didn’t like hiding, hiding the truth. Or there was simply no one with whom, the opportunity did not turn up.

The fact is that traitors do not always commit betrayal a second time. Depends on the type of person and his environment.

But it is definitely impossible to change a systematic traitor. Neither other partner, even the most ideal one, nor true love, nor even a personal desire to remain faithful will save him from fornication. This type of people is not created for strong trusting relationships. He is content with either a free union, or does not burden himself with it at all. In marriage, he cheats, cheats, and then cheats again. Which, however, does not prevent him from regretting it, loving his spouse and looking at him through the eyes of a beaten dog.

Effects

Nothing goes unnoticed and naturally betrayal also has consequences. Before deciding whether to solve a relationship problem or avoid it in this way, you need to weigh the results of such liberties. What cheating leads to:

relationship with a partner breaks up;
marital relations are devalued;
parents lose touch with their children, who become victims of being pulled to one side or the other;
the feeling of importance for a partner, value is disturbed;
there is no more trust in the opposite sex;
psychological consequences can be expressed in prolonged depression, alcoholism.

Do not think that only people without moral principles cheat on their partners. An unhealthy attitude in the family, the absorption of the behavior patterns of antisocial parents in childhood, constant suspicions, scandals, jealousy gradually lead to betrayal. Relationships cannot develop in such an environment; both adults and children, if any, suffer. Strong emotions and resentments gradually accumulate and lead to a state of prolonged stress.

Reasons for Emotional Cheating

Finding out the reasons for emotional betrayal, one should never begin to blame each other, try to shift all the blame onto one. Both are equally to blame for what happened.

How did this happen? What are the reasons for emotional (moral) betrayal?

Each person wants to be loved and desired, understood and accepted, and he first receives these basic needs in the family in which he was born and raised, and only then in the family or relationships that he builds himself.

Briefly about the reasons for moral betrayal:

The main reason for emotional cheating is the presence of emotional distance between partners, which was formed under the influence of even deeper problems within the couple. Looking more closely, you can identify them.
If in your couple there is constant control over each other, you use such hidden forms of control as anger and aggression, guilt and criticism and many others, then sooner or later the result of the resistance of one of you may be an emotional connection on the side.
A line of behavior in which you (or your partner) constantly shift all responsibility for feelings and emotions onto another can lead to this problem in your relationship.
In your couple, no one wants to give in to anyone, and you are constantly fighting for power. This is one of the steps to moral betrayal.
Lack of emotional trust between you when you are afraid to share your experiences with each other.
If you are a so-called emotionally cold couple, in which it is not customary to demonstrate your feelings and emotions. Or you don’t know how to express emotional closeness, because it was customary in the family in which you grew up.
Or maybe you, on the contrary, are too dependent on each other, and you are “cramped” from excessive intimacy, since you have practically no personal space to breathe.

Having agreed with at least one of the descriptions presented, we can say with confidence that there are problems, and they need to be solved.

You need to get rid of what destroys your relationship, which at any time can cause moral betrayal, and do everything possible to build your relationship correctly.

Needless to say, what do you know about treason?

Here the answer is ambiguous. There is an opinion that it is worth saying about treason, and the wrong one will come to his senses. Often the opposite is true. It is worth revealing the fact of treason, and the spouse realizes that nothing can be fixed in marriage. Once everything has become known, then it is necessary to take a decisive step and get a divorce.

Therefore, before deciding on the question: “Are you cheating on me?”, It is worth considering the further development of events. Here are some examples.

The husband denies cheating and says that you made up problems for yourself.
The husband says that he is cheating, that he has long wanted to say, but since you found out – yes, he leaves for another. Right now.
The husband says that you are mistaken, but he is actually feeling bad lately and is ready to talk about it.

You yourself understand that the third option is what you want. But in practice, I have never met him. But the first and second – all the time. Are you ready for them? If not, prepare first.

Sooner or later, we will have to pay for everything in life. When a person resorts to betrayal, there will always be consequences for him. What could be the price?

Disclosure nerve

Constant nervous tension from the fact that treason can be revealed. You have to come up with excuses, lie and try not to get entangled in your lies. Over time, this behavior begins to morally drain the traitor.

Public condemnation

In Russia, society treats traitors badly, and such information is received negatively. When a person cheats, succumbing to some kind of momentary weakness, he inflicts severe mental pain on his partner. In fact, he has put on himself the stigma of a person who cannot be trusted.

Loss of finances and time

In most cases, to attract the attention of a new chosen one, you need to spend some of your savings. It is quite costly to support your girlfriend and mistress at the same time. It is very difficult to allocate time between family, work, free time and a mistress. Irritability appears.

Venereal disease

The risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. When intimacy occurs with a stranger, this carries the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Usually, people who are carriers of the disease do not even suspect that they are sick.

Guilt

Over time, the traitor begins to think about what he did, what pain he caused to a person who sincerely trusted him, appreciated and loved him. Realizing this fact, he begins to be eaten from within by a feeling of shame and guilt, from which it is very difficult to get rid of.

Many couples, after infidelity, cannot return the relationship to its former harmony. The pain from the betrayal suffered is very great. The main reason is the inability to forgive the partner. She, in addition, will help you to understand a lot and find a solution to how to move on if you are betrayed.

Differences between treason and betrayal

The definitions of the concepts of “treason” and “betrayal” are synonymous when it comes to the state, wartime. But in a relationship, everything is much more complicated. Betrayal does not always mean betrayal, and the latter is not a betrayal for everyone.

Betrayal is a broad concept. They betray trust, hopes, do not provide help to a loved one when he needs it.

Cheating is understood as having sexual intercourse with another person. Suppose the infidelity happened by mistake, once, the partner himself confessed to it, repented and asks for forgiveness. Is this considered a betrayal? If you follow the Wikipedia definition and consider betrayal to be “leaving a friend in trouble”, a single infidelity does not fit this description.

Another example: your partner only makes love to you, but never provides moral support, discusses you behind your back. Is this fidelity?

Everyone determines the difference between betrayal and betrayal for himself. But one thing is clear for sure: infidelity can be forgiven, while betrayal destroys the relationship forever.

The sequence of correct actions

If, after answering all the questions of the test, you still decide that it is emotional betrayal that is happening to you, then be honest to the end, at least with yourself, and not just with a new (or not very new) friend. After all, everything, absolutely everything that happens in any relationship should be based on trust and mutual understanding.

It is worth considering why such a close friendship has not yet led to so-called friendly sex? Why is trust in a friend felt in the first place, and not in a loved one? What exactly is lacking in a relationship with a regular partner?

Sexologists have long noted the presence of dynamics in any, even the strongest, relationships. And then, positive or negative dynamics depends directly on the pair itself. This is completely normal. It is also normal to read that constant and rather close communication with a loved one (on the one hand, this is very good) has one negative feature. The couple gets so used to each other that they do not consider it necessary to share the most intimate with their partners, realizing in advance what the reaction will be to what is said.

That is why it is much easier and more interesting to tell a true friend about the events taking place in life. If a relationship with a regular partner is important to you, finding a way out of this situation is quite simple – start over again communicating with your beloved. Talk about movies you watched together or one by one, books you read, and what happens at work. Pay attention to the changing interests of the companion and talk, talk, talk.

What the law says

Cheating is one of the grounds for divorce. However, the law does not recognize such a thing as moral treason. Only an intimate relationship not with a spouse will be considered treason. Moreover, there must be evidence of the fact of treason, obtained legally. These include photographs and video recordings, telephone conversations and correspondence. We would like to once again draw your attention to the fact that the court will recognize as evidence only those evidence that was obtained legally.

Even if there is no way to prove treason, the marriage can still be dissolved at the request of one of the spouses or mutual unwillingness to live together. It is necessary to prove the betrayal of a spouse only if there is no agreement on the division of property, custody of children and, accordingly, alimony obligations

Purposeful

Purposeful infidelity occurs deliberately. That is, a person understands the damage he inflicts on his partner. He realizes that he is being cruel. And yet it changes.

Both moral and physical infidelity can be purposeful. In both cases, the spouse or spouse knows exactly why and for what they are doing it. Sometimes such infidelity is a way to get revenge on your partner.

It is almost impossible to regain trust in a person after a deliberately committed betrayal. You need to evaluate your relationship and think carefully about whether to forgive.

The difference between fantasy and cheating

The main sign of treason, both moral and physical, is the desire to spend your strength and energy on your beloved. Therefore, not every hobby can be considered treason. In the example above, Katya fantasized when she had a free minute. Such thoughts did not occupy her for a long time. Here are the typical signs of cheating:

a stranger seems closer to a spouse, you want to discuss the most intimate things with him;
each meeting with him is special, it requires careful preparation, accompanied by excitement;
he takes up all his free time, meetings are not accidental;
you would feel embarrassed if your spouse witnessed your encounters with a “third party”;
you discuss your personal life with a “third party”, while criticizing your official partner and raising the possibility of cheating on him;
it seems to you that if this “third party” disappears from your life, then it will lose its meaning.

These signs apply to any type of cheating. Even if it has not come to sexual relations, it is still treason. And everyone assesses the severity of the consequences from it for themselves.

Is “subconscious betrayal” comfortable?

It’s no surprise that emotional cheating is a comfortable state for a couple. Light flirting without kisses and intimacy raises your spirits, gives you a feeling of comfort and tranquility. Very often, a couple begins to share with each other the details of their “legitimate” relationship, while complaining about certain difficulties in them. In most cases, the partner at the same time begins to advise ways to resolve possible emerging conflicts, and gives the impression of “his own”, such an understanding and dear person.

First, I’ll say the most important thing – you can survive betrayal. Moreover, the phrase “a good leftist strengthens a marriage” is, of course, nonsense. But sometimes cheating actually reveals relationship problems. Overcoming these challenges makes the family much stronger.

The hardest part of experiencing cheating is restoring trust. This process is facilitated by a new ritual, during which the spouses take new vows. It is also important to confirm over and over again that you can be trusted. It will take a long time before trust returns. But it will come back. Read the article on how to restore trust in a relationship.

But forgetting about the betrayal will not work. You shouldn’t forget her. We must draw conclusions and move on.

The situation is complicated by the constant desire to remember and “savor” unpleasant details. This desire is worth fighting. Including, with the help of a professional psychologist.

The first shoots of lies

Emotional betrayal, in contrast to strong friendship, is distinguished by the appearance in a relationship with a constant partner of secrecy and deception. It is unlikely that anyone, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, will go into details, telling their loved one the details of conversations with their best friend or the fact how much time you spend communicating with him. That is, by and large, he begins to deceive his soul mate, and the deception itself directly says that love does not bring complete satisfaction, and the distance to honey for lovers is increasing day by day.

What hurts more

It is impossible to say for sure which betrayal is more painful. Moral betrayal always presupposes feelings. Thoughts are devoted to the “third party”, she interferes in the relationship of the spouses.

At the same time, physical betrayal is sometimes not accompanied by any feelings. In this case, it occurs under the influence of external factors, alcohol, a significant quarrel in the family, or accidentally in the company of friends when they tease.

Therefore, in some way it may turn out that moral betrayal is more difficult to forgive and survive.

Is such a betrayal invisible

Many of those who have struck up such a close friendship with a new acquaintance (acquaintance) do not see anything reprehensible in it (they simply do not consider the concept of “emotional betrayal”). But, a loved one (if there is one) is very good at seeing the charm of a new friend from the outside. That is, by and large, he sees the fact that his personal space is completely filled by a person who is stranger to their relationship. This one is unambiguously regarded primarily as a betrayal and, accordingly, as treason.

The most difficult thing in the current situation is that the spouse has no right to demonstrate either his indignation or, even more so, a feeling of jealousy. What can be the claims to friendly relations. The maximum that can be limited is grumbling and growing dissatisfaction with a partner, which, by the way, is also very bad. Over time, such a turn of events will inevitably lead to a complete rupture of relations.

8 + 2 types of cheating

To cope with infidelity, people often seek the help of a psychologist. To choose the direction of therapy, the specialist must understand what kind of infidelity has taken place.

Varieties of treason:

physical or moral;
purposeful or casual;
single or systematic.

Infidelity is in love relationships (conjugal) and friendly. State and ideological treason are distinguished separately.

What is moral betrayal

Shadow. An obsessive ghost that leads you astray. With moral betrayal, sex may not be from the word “absolutely”. A wild attachment to another person simply arises. It can be anyone: a colleague, a family friend, or just a virtual interlocutor on the Internet. It seems to you that he understands you much more, the attraction grows, and this is where a cool thing happens. You don’t fucking realize what’s really going on. Yes, it’s true that!

What is it about this if you are on the same wavelength with this person? In theory, nothing seditious. But you just build a tower out of mistakes: you endlessly compare your partner, you start making high demands, you just “gnaw” him! At the same time, you drain an awesome stream of energy to the side. And do you know what is happening at this moment? You are stupidly stealing energy. The energy of your space, your relationships.

Moral betrayal is not always characterized precisely by the man / woman relationship. Often it appears with completely harmless actions:

Work is a second wife. How many people put their activities at the forefront, forget about the family. They say about such people: “He is married to his job.” Women also have this problem;
Mom is the most important thing. Mother is sacred. There is nothing wrong with the fact that mothers are trusted, they strive to tell her all the events in their life. It’s just that with such love, the partner fades into the background. Hence the “mama’s little sons” and “daddy’s princesses” appeared;

Hobbies are the work of a lifetime. Garage, fishing, hunting, cutting and sewing circle, cross-stitch studio. It’s not bad if a person has interests in life. But when these hobbies are more important than anything else, it’s a failure;
Friends – one for all and all for one. “Without friends, I am a little bit, but with friends a lot!”. A wonderful song that teaches friendship. It’s only when at 3 o’clock in the morning a loved one breaks down to help with enviable regularity, the situation becomes critical.

How often does emotional cheating become sexual?

While there is no hard scientific evidence on how often an emotional relationship becomes sexual, my research experience shows that it happens quite often. One study found that 80% of emotional relationships between men and women escalate into relationships with sexual intercourse.

Tips on how to avoid moral betrayal

By learning simple tips to help you build stronger relationships, you can avoid emotional cheating in your relationship. Tips on how to avoid moral betrayal are as follows:

Share more emotions and show emotional closeness;
Let your relationship become more alive, and for this fill them with bright saturated emotions;
Try to be friends with each other;
Share thoughts, goals and ideas with your partner, as this strengthens the emotional connection;
Appreciate your partner and do not be afraid to show him that he is important to you;
Praise more and criticize less;
Respect each other;
Give more freedom;
Let your relationship have a place of unpredictability, novelty and spontaneity.

Well, for those who decided to choose a new relationship after moral betrayal, the advice is this: if you do not solve the problems that led to the emergence of emotional betrayal in the old relationship, you risk dragging them into new ones.

Without working on your mistakes and fixing the causes of emotional cheating, you should not hope that they will disappear just because you have a new relationship. Initially, these reasons and problems may not appear, but this does not mean that they do not exist, later they will make themselves felt.

But this idyll cannot always be and, faced with the reality of life, will quickly dissipate. And you may again face the problem of emotional or moral betrayal. So why waste time trying to build new relationships that are doomed to the same problems?

Instead of looking for someone on the side who can fill your voids and dispel loneliness, take responsibility for your relationship, pay more attention to each other, give love and joy.

How to Benefit Your Relationship from Cheating

As crazy as it may sound, cheating can become an incentive for positive changes in family relationships. It will definitely make you stop for a moment and think, “What was wrong in the marriage?” A detailed answer to this question will be a kind of plan for renewing trust.

The first step is to decide whether or not to keep the marriage. If saving your family is important to you, then the most important thing is to never, under any circumstances, recall or reproach cheating. This must be left in the past once and for all. Otherwise, the cultivation of a sense of guilt in the soul of a spouse will end in frequent quarrels, scandals and, in the end, in divorce.

Conclusion

As we can see, any betrayal is evidence of a marital crisis and a consequence of existing problems, and not their cause, and here you need to understand the couple’s problems, and not blame the third.

In any case, betrayal should not be viewed as a strictly negative event for the family system. Cheating can be a powerful impetus for improving relationships if they were in a dying stage, it indicates problems in a couple that were previously closed their eyes.

In order to minimize the risk of cheating, a couple must learn to talk and negotiate, be attentive to each other’s mood and needs, and show care and support.

If the partners understand that they are not able to cope with their family difficulties together and are at a dead end, then they are encouraged to seek help from a family psychologist.

The psychologist will help you to see the reason for what is happening in time, set up effective communication in a pair and help you get out of the crisis.

Sources used and useful links on the topic: https://WikiGrowth.ru/otnosheniya/izmena/ https://Plachu.net/izmena-i-posledstviya/chto-takoe-izmena https://vsezagovori.ru/izmeny/chto -schitaetsya-izmenoy-v-otnosheniyah-i-brake.html https://intrigue.dating/otnoshenija/chto-takoe-izmena-i-pochemu-ludi-izmenyaut-lubimym/ https://intrigue.dating/otnoshenija/ ehmo-ionalnaya-izmena-mojno-li-priravnivat-ee-k-izmene-fizicheskoy / https://stepslove.ru/izmen/chto-mozhno-schitat-izmenoj-v-otnosheniyah https://tjournal.ru/analysis / 187661-chuzhoy-sredi-svoih-chto-takoe-gosizmena-v-rossii https://turbo-suslik.org/izmena-i-predatelstvo/ https://intrigue.dating/otnoshenija/prestuplenie-v-otnosheniyah- chto-takoe-izmena-i-kak-k-ney-otnositsya / https://samosoverhenstvovanie.ru/yemocionalnaya-ili-moralnaya-izmena-prichini-priznaki-posledstviya-soveti/ https://www.natalubina.ru/izmena/chto-takoe-izmena-samoe-glavnoe-ob-izmene.html https://zen.yandex.ua/media/plachu/chto-takoe-izmena-v-otnosheniiah-i-v-liubvi-dlia-chainikov-5ee67be664d6731cc9e1d850 https://NetRazvodam.ru/izmena-i-posledstviya/moralnaya-izmena.html https://grigorieva-elena.ru/moralnaya-emocionalnaya-izmena/ https://www.belnovosti.by/lyubov-i-semya/chto-huzhe-fizicheskaya-ili-moralnaya-izmena-razbiraemsya-s-psihologom

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