What to do in case of domestic violence: responsibility of the perpetrator and ways of confronting. Home for mom
What if you have experienced domestic violence?
Contact an emergency room or other medical facility where the beatings will be removed. Tell your doctor in detail about all the painful sensations. You will be given a certificate describing all damages. Paramedics are also required to notify the police on duty of your request.
If you cannot go to a health facility (for example, serious injuries), call an ambulance. Be sure to photograph all of your damage.
Then contact any police station. In the application, indicate all cases of violence against you, whether there were witnesses of these situations, indicate their contacts, whether the violence is systematic. At the end, write a request to open a criminal case and bring the culprit to justice. Police officers are required to accept this application from you. Provide a copy of the personal injury certificate, as well as a photo, if possible. After accepting the application, you will be given a coupon with a number (KUSP). In the future, it will be possible to find out about the progress of the case by this number.
If you are afraid for your life, call the police immediately by phone 02, 112. Police officers will interview you and the rapist, you can draw up a statement on the spot. The police are obliged to accept it.
Very often, women do not leave tyrant spouses because of the financial component. They can be understood: what to feed and dress small children for a woman on maternity leave? But in this case, it should be remembered that, according to statistics, most children who grew up in an environment of domestic violence themselves become either victims or abusers.
If you have made the decision to leave your tyrant husband, first you need to prepare a “retreat plan”.
1 Find a place where you feel safe. It can be the apartment of relatives, friends. It is better that the husband does not know about this place.
If you have nowhere to go, there are crisis centers in Moscow that are ready to help women in difficult situations.
Crisis centers provide housing, psychological assistance, and legal support. Some centers have courses (eg hairdresser, accountant) that allow women to acquire new professions and get to work faster.
2 Destroy all things that could tell the rapist where you are.
3 Notify your neighbors so that in case of shouts, noise in your apartment, they immediately call the police.
4 Tell a trusted family or friend that you have experienced domestic violence.
5 Collect the “emergency suitcase ” – a bag with essentials, medicines, documents and money, which should be enough for the first time of independent life.
6 Download a dedicated phone app such as SILSILA. There is a special button – sending a message with the location of the victim of violence with one click to a pre-selected contact.
Many women believe that violence that happens once will never happen again. But practice shows that this is not the case. Sometimes it is impossible to recognize the abuser. But it is worth paying attention if your man reads your correspondence, controls your every step, does not let go of walking with his friends, is often aggressive for no reason, quick-tempered, cruelly treats pets, prohibits you from communicating with someone from relatives, friends, indicates how you dress.
It is psychologically difficult to break out of a violent relationship. The woman will think to the end that something can still be corrected and everything will be the same. The main thing here is to understand the problem and not be afraid to ask for help. There are psychological hotlines that will help in a difficult situation:
- At the moment, there is no law in Russia that provides for criminal liability specifically for domestic violence. However, the Criminal Code provides for the following articles: 111 “Intentional infliction of grievous bodily harm”, 112 “Intentional infliction of moderate harm to health”, 115 “Intentional infliction of minor harm to health”, 116 “Beating” and 119 “Threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm. “. The problem is that women rarely take cases to court. Someone hopes to save the family, while others do not have the strength and means to collect evidence, to interact with the state machinery of justice.
Society also puts pressure on victims of violence. It is assumed that all hardships and hardships must be endured for the sake of children (they must have a father). And besides, a woman without a man in Russian society is often perceived as inferior. “There is definitely something wrong with her.”
Preventing domestic violence is a difficult and painstaking job. If someone hits you on the street, you are unlikely to meet that person again, except in court or at the police. But with a domestic rapist a woman has to talk every day, have breakfast, sleep in the same bed. This leaves an additional imprint on the victim’s psyche, does not allow her to mentally even go beyond the daily routine, where violence is a normal phenomenon.
Russia needs at least to adopt foreign experience – to introduce protective orders that would prohibit the tyrant of the house from approaching a woman. We need more crisis centers, in the regions there are very few of them, this requires additional government funding.
There are special rehabilitation centers for men in Israel. In Russia, too, it would be possible to create such institutions that allow men to cope with aggression, where they would be sent by court order.
It is also necessary to clearly establish the concept of domestic violence, because it includes not only physical violence, but also psychological, economic and sexual.
It is necessary to change the legal consciousness of citizens, to widely discuss the topic of domestic violence in the press, to show that it is not embarrassing and important to talk about it. Indeed, according to a recent study by Mikhailov & Partners. Analytics “, 63% of Russians are sure that women themselves provoke men to violence by their appearance and behavior, and this is a very sad statistics.
2 Contact the police
– If you are severely beaten or you feel that your life is in danger, immediately call an ambulance and the police on a single short emergency number 112.
– After the arrival of the police, behave as calmly as possible. Ask law enforcement officers to take your abuser to the department.
– Pay attention of the police to all your personal injuries and existing property damage.
– Tell the police about other incidents of violence against you, if any. Remember if there were any witnesses. Give the police their names and contacts.
– Write a statement to the offender and demand that you accept it. The statement must contain information about the scene of the crime, the time of its commission, the identity of the perpetrator, as well as data on the consequences that have occurred and a request to “initiate a criminal case and bring the perpetrator to justice.”
– If we are talking about constant beatings of light severity (according to practice, the police often refer to such cases even when the victim has received visible and severe bodily harm), such actions will fall under part 1 of Article 115 of the Criminal Code (“Deliberate infliction of minor harm to health causing a short-term health disorder or a slight permanent loss of general ability to work “) and part 1 of article 116 (” Beating or committing other violent acts that caused physical pain, but did not entail the consequences specified in article 115 “).
– If we are talking about the threat of murder, then this act falls under Article 119 (“Threats of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm”). Articles 112 (“Intentional infliction of moderate harm to health”) and 117 (“Torture”) may also apply. These are articles of public prosecution, that is, the police must check them on their own.
– If the police officers refuse to accept the application, ask for a meeting with their leadership.
– Write down the last names, first names and patronymics of the police officers, their office phone numbers, as well as the protocol number.
– Ask for a referral for a forensic medical examination.
Can I go to court right away
Contacting the police always takes precedence in terms of legal and regulatory support. But it is not necessary to punish the attacker. The victim of domestic violence or the legal representative of the child victim can go directly to the district or city court. For this you need:
- Contact the Bureau of Forensic Medicine and pay a fee to be examined for beatings.
- Find witnesses to the incident who can speak in front of the court about the incident.
- Collect evidence that domestic violence did occur.
- Submit an application to the court registry, attaching evidence to it.
As evidence of the deliberate guilt of the domestic tyrant, you can present everything that can confirm the fact of domestic violence:
- witness’s testimonies
- video filming of a fight
- photographing the attack
- materials from video cameras located in the entrance or in the apartment
- extract from the medical history
- pictures of bone fractures and fractures
- certificate with the conclusion of a forensic expert on the presence of the consequences of beatings (required).
On the basis of the evidence presented, as well as on the basis of the degree of proof of guilt as a result of polemics and statements by witnesses of the incident, the court issues a guilty verdict with the assignment of punishment.
Sign # 1. Not just a victim
When we talk about domestic violence, which can be both physical and psychological, the woman, as a rule, acts not only in the role of the victim, since it would be too difficult to remain in this state. As strange as it sounds, she can usually also play the role of an aggressor or rescuer. Consider a common situation in which a husband suffers from alcohol addiction and, being drunk, raises his hand against his wife. In moments like this, the spouse is, of course, a victim. But in the morning, when he gets sober and begins to ask for forgiveness, a woman can play the role of an aggressor, expressing her displeasure to him, reproaching him for yesterday’s behavior, or she becomes a rescuer – she runs to the faithful with pills and pickle. The latter role is the most pleasant for a woman, because she makes her feel important and important. From the outside, such changes can usually be seen very well, that is, first your friend or loved one complains about her husband, who behaves ugly, and after a while tells how she “built” him, or saved him from debts, cured him, after a hangover, etc. If you see such drastic changes, of course, you should take a closer look at this family – most likely, there is violence there. Maybe not physical, but psychological, but this makes it no less dangerous.
Sign number 5. “Husband won’t let you in”
Another sign: a woman completely drops out of social life, begins to avoid heart-to-heart conversations, communication, although she used to behave in the opposite way. She does not invite guests, and answers to offers to go somewhere: “My husband will not let me in.”
They are silent and tolerate. Why are women not fighting domestic violence?
In a relationship, partners should be equal. It is not normal if the spouse does not let the other half go somewhere. Unfortunately, many women forget that serfdom in our country was abolished in 1861. They voluntarily become slaves. Yes, sometimes you can refuse to meet with friends or something else. But if there is a healthy relationship between the spouses, then you will do it only because you have decided so yourself, and not because “your husband does not allow” or you are afraid that he will be offended, will not talk to you, will react sharply. There should be no fear of offending someone, making someone angry, etc. If this is not the case, most likely, the woman is subjected to violence in the family.
Domestic violence in the family (against the elderly, children, other relatives)
As already mentioned, it is not only the wives of tyrant husbands who suffer from domestic violence. Children are frequent victims of fathers, mothers prone to physical and psychological abuse. They do not know how to protect themselves from tyranny, they are forced to live for years in an unhealthy atmosphere, having no other choice. In the future, they may themselves be violent.
Also often victims of domestic violence are elderly people who are unable to protect themselves, who are ashamed to tell someone about the tyranny that is happening at home, or who are afraid of getting even more aggression from the tyrant.
Physical
Direct or indirect impact on the victim, the purpose of which is to inflict physical injury, beatings, slaps, kicks, slaps, and so on. Corporal punishment of any family member is a form of domestic violence. Also among the physical violence is unwillingness to provide first aid, deprivation of the fulfillment of vital needs (shower, toilet), sleep deprivation, compulsion to drugs or alcohol.
Injury to other family members or animals, in an attempt to psychologically influence the victim. This is an indirect form of physical abuse.
One of the most severe forms of physical violence in the home is rape. The consequence can be unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Often victims, fearing public opinion, remain silent about the rape.
This type of violence is usually committed with the use of other forms of domestic violence. This implies any coercive action of a sexual nature, as well as coercion to it in the form of persuasion, blackmail, harassment, bribery.
In our society, as in many others, marriage is often regarded as a man gaining unconditional rights to have sex with his wife, and to use force when she does not want sex.
Coercion, “seasoned” with talk of spousal duty, is considered sexual abuse, since there is no spousal duty. In a healthy relationship, sex is always consensual and brings satisfaction and joy to both partners.
Among the forms of sexual violence, there is also a demonstration of genitals, pornography.
Domestic Violence Act
Several attempts have been made in Russian law to pass a law that would define what is meant by domestic violence and also set out the rules for regulation. In 2019, there is no law defining domestic violence as a legal issue. Such a law is needed, and many opposition teams and activists are seeking its adoption.
What does he give? If an elderly person or woman has to be a victim of violence, but did not come to serious bodily harm or death, then all this qualifies as a private prosecution case. This means that the victim herself must go to the police or turn to the magistrate, write a statement about the beatings and prove that they really took place. The beatings are filmed at the traumatic center, then you need to collect a lot of papers and draw them up correctly. Often, the victim does not have the strength, the time, is haunted by a feeling of shame, and he cannot afford the services of a lawyer. Therefore, the case rarely goes to court.
There is no such thing as domestic violence in Russian legislation. Yes: beatings, beatings, death threats.
Society reacts differently to the relaxation of the domestic violence law. Some say that this is correct, and you can not imprison a person for a slap, as it was before. Others are convinced that these amendments benefit domestic sadists who go beyond spanking but go unpunished.
What are the causes of domestic violence?
The main and most dangerous misconception that exists in society regarding the problem of domestic violence is that the reason lies in the actions of the injured partner, and the rapist was “provoked”. This automatically raises the erroneous question “for what?” and the tendency to seek excuses for the aggressor. It is necessary to remember that there is no behavioral reason for systematic violence and cannot be – this is only the fault of the rapist’s tendency to aggression and the manifestation of his power over his partner.
This tendency directly depends on the upbringing and the scheme of family relations, which a person “inherited”, observing the relationship of his parents, as well as on the attitudes that prevail in society as a whole, and in particular in the environment of the couple. For example, the likelihood of domestic violence is increased if a woman and her acquaintances choose not to discuss the topic of violence or seek help, and the husband and his friends do not condemn the use of force. The problem is rooted both in the taboo of the topic of domestic violence and in the patriarchal nature of Russian culture, enshrined even at the level of “folk wisdom” and traditional values: “A man is the head of everything,” “Let the wife fear her husband”. The family economy is also built in such a way that with the birth of children, a woman often falls into a state of dependence on who brings money to the house.
“The idea that a woman is” running out “is, alas, widespread among many of my fellow psychologists,” notes Natalia Khodyreva. According to her, the Russian society is characterized by a militaristic consciousness – it is believed that for any disobedience one must apply physical punishment or shout. Therefore, rapists are not inclined to see problems in their behavior.
Help take back control of the situation
The first reaction to the news of what happened is often expressed in phrases like “How did you get on!” or “I said for a long time that he was a goat!” It helps the speaker to relieve tension, because it demonstrates the manageability of a world in which someone voluntarily made mistakes, but does not help the victim of sexual violence at all. Thus, she is told that she herself is to blame for what happened, because, they say, she could have prevented everything. Therefore, the correct reaction sounds more like: “Do you need help? Should I come? Is there anything I can do for you? ” Do not ask for consent to help, but offer it and support the ability to make decisions on your own, which the abuser took away.
It may turn out that the woman is so shocked and disoriented that she is not yet able to make a decision. Then provide help if you have not received a clearly articulated “no”. Ask what she would like now: it can be a conversation about what happened or anything, she wants to hug, or, conversely, so that no one touches her. She may need help with household chores, with children or the need to tell loved ones about what happened, as well as moral support or the need to move to a safe place if the abuser is a husband or another person living in the same apartment or nearby. People react differently to traumatic situations, and a cheerful response that everything is in order does not guarantee that nothing will change in an hour. Do not press or point out what a woman should, in your opinion, do,
Don’t describe how hurt and scared you are about what happened to her, talk about your feelings with someone else. The victim of violence is in any case much worse, and you should not blame her for your feelings. Another unsuccessful approach: “Say the name, let’s kill the villain!” If you have performed in a similar spirit before, no one will tell you about the violence, so as not to lose you too. For the murders, in fact, faces imprisonment.
How to recognize that you are living with a tyrant
• The husband constantly criticizes, humiliates and insults his wife, not even embarrassed by the presence of children or relatives. Demonstrates her “superiority” and her “wretchedness”. Criticizes her mind, body, profession, insults her relatives. Constantly devalues.
• Tries to control his wife on all matters to the smallest detail: money, calls, communication with friends, time for himself (swimming, dancing, drawing, and so on). For the hours spent by the wife “personally on myself”, the husband tries to impose a sense of guilt.
• Does not take into account the opinion of his wife, he simply confronts her with a fact both in small things and in important decisions – the husband does everything as he is used to and as only he considers it necessary.
• Threatens directly or indirectly. For example, to divorce and take the children away, not to give money. Or he immediately puts the blame on his wife if she begins to resist: “I see you want to destroy the family, leave the children orphans!”.
• May threaten with “nervous breakdown”, that is, with his aggression. A woman can explain this situation like this: “You know how impulsive and unrestrained he is! If you do not remain silent, then there will be a big scandal, he will start to break down. “
• In sexual relations, the wife’s wishes are not considered. Devaluates it if it does not fulfill something.
• May push hard.
• May be beaten periodically (sometimes complicated by alcohol, but not necessary).
How can you protect yourself from being stalked by a violent partner?
Change the phone number, internet passwords, locks in the apartment. Do not receive calls from unknown numbers. Try not to be alone at least for the first time. If there is a need to meet the abuser, do so in a public place. If he threatens to harm you or your children, be sure to inform the police.
One of the most painful moments during this period is a change of place of residence, which is almost the only way to hide from the persecution of a violent partner. The injured party is forced to leave their home, they actually survive from there, and the rapist remains in a privileged position. The draft law on the prevention of domestic violence, which is now submitted to the Russian government, provides for the intervention and protection of the state: the rapist will be asked to leave the place of cohabitation, regardless of who owns it. However, so far the law has not been adopted,
and in Russia there are no protective orders – so you will have to take care of your safety on your own or with the help of loved ones.
Sources used and useful links on the topic: https://www.forbes.ru/forbes-woman/379751-rukovodstvo-ot-bezdeystviya-chto-nuzhno-delat-esli-vy-stali-zhertvoy-domashnego https: // www .the-village.ru / village / city / situation / 254937-instruktsiya-dlya-zhertv https://zakonguru.com/situacii/domashnee-nasilie.html https://aif.ru/health/psychologic/pora_spasat_kak_ponyat_chto_domash_see_est : https://zakonguru.com/situacii/domashnee-nasilie.html //PsyLogik.ru/154-domashnee-nasilie.html https://www.wonderzine.com/wonderzine/life/life/205141-domestic-violence https://www.wonderzine.com/wonderzine/life/life/ 227742-sos https://letidor.ru/psihologiya/domashnee-nasilie-kak-borotsya-s-tiranom.htm https://www.wonderzine.com/wonderzine/life/life/213317-domestic-violence-part- 2
Post source: lastici.ru