What habitual behaviors are killing your relationship?

Love is not always about languid kisses under the moon and a permanent idyll. But, if you strive for this together, your feelings will only grow. Conversely, if instead of dialogue, succumb to destructive emotions, the relationship may collapse altogether. Our regular columnist Ekaterina Bibisheva spoke about actions that can destroy even the strongest feelings.

Attempts to change a partner for yourself

Ideal men do not exist, and women too. Therefore, in strong couples, acceptance of each other is developed. Also, do not forget that only a person can change something in himself. No reproaches, bribery or blackmail from the outside can do this.

reproaches

Especially in public: they humiliate a person and beat his confidence. Therefore, I beg you: do not quarrel in public places. Restrain yourself and try to "bring" indignation home.

Insults – beyond the bounds of what is permitted

Fighting is part of a normal, healthy relationship. Don't artificially avoid them. But also do not turn misunderstandings into throwing mud at each other. And try not to drag old grievances and situations where the partner was wrong into the conflict. Manipulating the past is not an idea.

Silence

Perhaps this is even worse than loud quarrels. You are together to hear and understand each other. But how to do this if the partner refuses to share the innermost with you?! Intimate communication is especially important in a couple, when together you discuss your secret desires, improve your sex life and become closer.

hyperbole

When two dirty socks under the table result in a global scandal. Of course, the main reason for domestic conflicts is not at all in the shirt that you forgot to iron, and not in the garbage bag that he did not throw away in the morning. Most likely, this is discontent, resentment, anger, which have been accumulating for a very long time, but you did not talk about it. That is why I call you to dialogue again and again. Then the conflict "hooks" like an unwashed cup will stop working.

Jealousy and spy games

I always say: women are the best detectives and will figure out betrayal even by likes on Instagram. But are espionage ideas really that good? As for me, regular scrolling of a partner's phone, interrogation of his friends is not about a happy relationship. This is how you show disrespect to your man. Love starts with trust. It is he who needs to be revived if you want to be together for a long time and in pleasure. Jealousy also belongs to this category of actions. For me, this is not a sign of love at all, but a demonstration of selfishness and insecurity. Both you and your partner suffer from jealousy. Therefore, try to eradicate this feeling in yourself in the name of your happiness.

Comparison with the past

Remembering the former in the current relationship is the last thing. Especially when memories turn into comparisons. This offends and humiliates your current chosen one. Leave the past in the past and enjoy the present.

merger

One of the most common mistakes made by happy couples. When you begin to choke each other with your love: you do everything together, do not lose sight of it, turn into a single whole. Sounds perfect, but just sounds. A person needs separation, and sometimes you need to give each other air and space. And in moments of planned loneliness, pay more attention to yourself.

Lies

Lies will definitely become clear – the law of the universe. And no matter how global the lie is, it will in any case affect the trust in the couple, and also prevent you from building a strong, empathic relationship.

Shifting Responsibility

Very often I hear the following phrase from women: “If I had a good lover, then there would be orgasms. Mine doesn’t know how to do anything in bed, so I don’t get pleasure either. " And such excuses finish sex completely. But good sex is an important condition for a happy union. Therefore, I always tell my students: stop shifting the responsibility for your pleasure to a man. He does not know your body as well as you do, and only you can reveal to him all the secrets of your orgasm. When you take responsibility for sex, you go to bed without reproach, with the intention of enjoying yourself. And it inspires your partner. Believe me, he will do his best to give you a blissful smile. If you know what I mean.