“I’m leaving for my mother and having fun”: how wives hide infidelity from husbands

We have already found out how men hide their extramarital affairs. Now the Rambler has learned how women act in this case. Spelling and punctuation of the authors preserved.

Women explain their infidelity in different ways. Some argue that this is revenge on her husband, others simply lack affection and passion in insipid marital relationships.

Jealous: “I had a couple of times. But the ex-husband was also not an angel. Walked forever and drank. Seen repeatedly in treason. I took revenge on him with brutal males. Now in a serious relationship, I don't want to change and I won’t. I want a sincere and faithful relationship and I demand this from a partner – this is my main principle in relationships. He also thinks."

Yana: “Changed. Why? Lack of attention from her husband. Is this an excuse? Of course not. But if I had not changed, I would probably have divorced, I would not have been able to continue to live like this. And now I’m already thinking – it would be better if I got divorced, because I’ll get divorced, but later. So much time has been lost. And all because of the fear of being alone.

Ksenia: “Married for 9 years. I am 30, my husband is 35, my child is 10. My husband is not the first man, there was no one to compare with. I love him and everything is fine in bed. But! I want variety, a less insipid life. Life is one, and various pranks give tone, make you strictly look after and take care of yourself. So I change regularly, a couple of times a month, there are always two regular boys, they get bored or start demanding something or become impudent, I change. I don’t consider myself a fallen woman, all my girlfriends and acquaintances have someone out of wedlock. My husband is good, I love only him, but love and bed are two different things.

Tatyana: “There is nothing good in cheating, it's like a drug. First, high, adrenaline, passion, and then breaking and emptiness. I lived with my husband for 15 years, but I wanted novelty, passion, emotions, and so I met him. At first everything was fine, I enjoyed my lover for almost a year, but then my husband found out. Everything that had been built for so many years collapsed. Divorce, we are selling a good house that my husband and I built. As soon as my lover found out that I was getting a divorce, he immediately ran away. Now I'm sitting biting my elbows, but it's too late. I am 38 and who needs me with two children?"

Sheep: “I started it as a revenge on my husband (he cheated + loved to disappear with friends). She loved her husband, then she fell in love with her lover – love for her husband passed. As a result, a divorce. I didn’t get along with my lover, because married. Now I meet with the MCH, it's going to marriage, but I don't want to leave my lover. Husbands come and go, but good lovers don't lie on the road."

Dina: “The husband thumps constantly with friends and believes that this is how it should be, grows dumber, respectively, has ceased to respect, has taken a lover, the husband apparently felt it. has changed, but I don’t care, he’s disgusting, although the lover is not super, but at least somehow distracts!

Some admit that they were not going to change at all, everything was decided by chance.

Fairy: “Recently I was coming from a training session in the evening, I met an old acquaintance, he invited me for a cup of tea, since he lives nearby. In general, I agreed. Then an hour and a half of sex, why I went for it, I don’t understand. The most important thing is that the husband did not guess anything.

Julia: “My husband and I have been together for 8 years. 3 of them are officially married. For 4 years of relationship, she cheated on him drunk. But then we had a turning point in the relationship, everything was difficult. Maybe that's why she changed it. After that it was very hard. I wanted to break up with him and disappear altogether. I didn't think I was capable of that. I couldn't even talk to him. The severe psycho-emotional state was for a long time. Of course she didn't say anything to him. Somehow survived. Its OK now".

However, there are women for whom novels on the side are a way to maintain self-esteem, to feel desirable and beautiful again.

Anna27: “No matter how good the husband is, no matter how strong the woman’s feelings for him are, there will be a moment when she wants to change, but whether she does or not is a question. What woman does not like the attention of several men, especially if she has lived with the same one for many years.

Chipollina: “If a woman is in demand, men pay attention, then the temptation is very great, betrayal is a matter of time. And those who say that they never cheated and never will, as a rule, either had a mental trauma in childhood (for example, the father left for another family) or men do not pay attention, and if they do, then they are not at all those whom I would like to, also the presence of small children and housekeeping takes away all emotions and strength.

Sandra: “If I liked a man and created suitable conditions, then I go for sex without hesitation. With every man you experience new unforgettable sensations, and I like it. But I love my husband, I fulfill all the duties of my wife to him, I’m sure that my trips to the side have a good effect on our intimate life!

Katri: “I believe that there is nothing wrong with treason. My husband and I have been living together for five years, and for a year of them I have been having an affair on the side. And my partner is also married. We meet exclusively for an intimate connection, and we do not allow ourselves anything extra. You just need to take it not so seriously, because life is given once!

The practice of open relationships in the country is not yet very common, so rare wives tell their husbands about their lovers. Most often, women hide their dates from their husbands under the pretext of a new hobby – yoga, fitness, cooking classes, floristry, and so on. For meetings outside the city, working wives usually use the tricks of unfaithful men and organize business trips for themselves.

Also, windy ladies advise their friends to sign up for cosmetic procedures more often. Going to the salon, in their opinion, can be a good cover.

Mira: “The main thing is to erase SMS in time. And it is better to agree with him so that he does not write SMS until the moment you write to him yourself. Again, the lover can always be "Katya". Meetings can be “disguised” under the pretext that you went to your parents or to the store, or sign up for a yoga class, for example. Go a couple of times to know at least what time it starts and what's inside. You can meet somewhere near the section. Again, you can meet with him during business hours. The husband will think that you are working, and at work you can always take time off "to the solarium", "to the doctor" and so on. If the husband calls at the wrong time, say that the authorities called, and in general your sound is turned off so as not to annoy colleagues with calls. And if he calls when you are with your parents, well, say that you just talked to your mother and did not hear or there was no time.

Saida: “Tell me that for sports or for a beautician. I am personally for a beautician or a hairdresser, and then on a date.

Opium: “You go to the concert yourself because your husband does not like this kind of music; to the circus – if the husband does not like the circus, to the exhibition. Register yourself officially for the courses, so that there is a receipt for payment – yoga, English, crochet, and go where you need to.

Jessie: “To lie to a friend or to mom, having warned those in advance that there were no overlays. Well, to return home without an idiotic smile.

Marina: “When I had a friend, I signed up for “yoga” twice a week from 6 to 9. Sometimes the lesson was postponed, sometimes I really wanted sports and practiced 3-4 times a week. But this is on a permanent basis. Impromptu – to a friend, to a corporate party, to a beautician, etc. Once my husband caught it – the friend I was supposed to have called. She lied that I was looking for a gift for him on New Year's Eve, so touchingly that he almost shed a tear. My husband is cute, I love him"

Natasha: “In “family time” it’s better not to take risks. And if you take a risk, then one. Frequent absences will arouse suspicion. I also signed up for a fitness club, my husband even liked my toned figure. The paradox is that we are already divorced, but for a different reason. I prefer not to tell the truth even at gunpoint.”

Scully: Normal lovers, if they value their families, meet during the day. Lie to your superiors, not to your husband.”

Irina: "And I'm leaving for my mother for a couple of days in another city and there I come off to the fullest."

Lyubava: “My husband never goes to his friends for birthdays with me and just doesn’t want to take a walk before going to bed. And in general, in his notebook only me and my parents. So you can always call him "for the next dr" knowing that he will not go with me. Sometimes I say that the car broke down. And my lover says to his that he was called to the service. He is a submariner and can always play "urgent dive" or "real rocket charge". I can also visit a friend for a weekend like visiting a village. The main thing would be desire and there would be no conscience. And to admit it yourself until you are caught is stupid. I wouldn’t go left in my life if there was enough attention at home and there would be no need for my husband in a lying position by the TV set.

Luchik: “To the theater with a theater-goer friend or colleague. Until the night will not work, but until 23.00 for sure. Checked."

Also on the forums, women honestly tell how they explain gifts from generous lovers. Sometimes the official donors are friends, mother or even a family company. But more often wives give presents for their own purchases. However, large gifts can also go through the lottery category.

Lyubava 1989: “As for gifts from a lover, it depends on what kind of presents, if it’s cosmetics, then it’s not necessary to hide. We can say that I bought it at a bargain price. The same applies to clothing (with the exception of a fur coat), here you already need to come up with something sane. If the lover is a money bag, then you can ask him to give him not things, but money or certificates to beauty salons, a gym, and you can tell your husband that this is a gift from the company or a win.

Lina: “Most often, women say that a friend gave a gift or that she bought herself, especially if it is jewelry. Larger gifts are usually presented as their own purchases.”

Talinas: “They usually say that a friend gave. Well, or she saved up money herself – she bought it to treat herself. Several of my acquaintances had and still have lovers, but I have never heard of gifts from them. They probably don't give anything."

Biktat: “If you think about it, you can find several ways. For example, if one of the friends or relatives is aware of these relationships, then you can agree that these gifts are allegedly from them. Or I bought it myself, won at any competitions. But sharing relationships with third parties is fraught – today she is a friend, tomorrow an enemy, and revelations rushed about a man, and about betrayal, and about gifts, they would announce a list where half was invented. It’s better, of course, to live honestly and faithfully and you won’t have to bother.”