Sex is often shown to us in movies, erotica, and online porn as adventurous, uncomplicated, and hassle-free. However, in fact, sexual problems are a common occurrence that many people experience.<\/p>\n
According to the 2017 National Health and Social Survey, about 75% of men always reach orgasm during sex, but only 29% of women reach it. Another study published in 2017 surveyed nearly 7,000 women aged 16 to 74 and found that one in ten experienced pain during sex. And according to another survey, approximately 50% of men aged 40 to 70 experience erectile dysfunction at one time or another.<\/p>\n
Sexual problems can develop as a result of medical, physiological, and psychological factors such as sexually transmitted infections, chronic pain conditions, the aging process, and emotional responses. However, regardless of whether the problem is personal or partner's problems, mutual understanding and support is necessary for a successful resolution of the situation, because this is what affects the sexual life of both partners. How to talk with a partner on such a delicate topic, so as not to hurt his feelings?<\/p>\n
If you're going to talk about sexual issues, it's best to choose the moment carefully. Don't start a conversation while you're in the middle of (or about to have) sexual intercourse, and avoid moments when you and your partner are tired, rushed, distracted, or not in the mood. No need to be imposed, especially if it is about something for which resentment has accumulated. If someone is upset because their partner has low sexual desire, this can lead to snide remarks, etc., and this will not help. Agree on a time that works for both of you, but don't make it a big deal – make sure you care about your significant other and that this is a positive conversation that will help and improve your relationship.<\/p>\n
You may be wondering: “When I meet a new partner, how soon should I tell him about my problem?". Dating culture requires self-confidence and that we represent ourselves from the best side. However, if you have a sexual problem that makes you feel vulnerable, it's understandable that you won't want to reveal it in the first place. How and when you discuss this problem depends on what the problem is and what its possible consequences for your partner are. The main thing is to act honestly while maintaining self-confidence and self-esteem. If you are looking for a life partner, then most likely you want to choose a person who knows how to empathize, so if he does not respond well to your problem, then he is definitely not right for you.<\/p>\n
Explain clearly how the sexual issue affects you, but be prepared to listen to your partner's point of view and discuss their feelings. Focus on the positives and set parameters for sexual activity that you both agree on. This will help build trust and intimacy. Don't get hung up on what you can't do – there's more to sex than just penetration, orgasm, or an area where you have a problem. Problems arise when sexual activity is completely avoided because one or both partners believe that any intimacy will lead to sex and the need to solve the problem. The lack of sex becomes chronic, and then the couples live almost like flatmates in a platonic sense, and the relationship breaks down.<\/p>\n
Convince your partner that, despite the problem, you still want him, and this desire can be expressed not only in standard sexual norms, but also in other creative ways. Don't go into critical mode and start blaming your partner (or yourself), instead look for common ground. If you find sexual intercourse painful or impossible, yet sexually expressive, open, creative, and intimate, most partners will prefer it to penetrative sex with a person who doesn't have sexual desires, doesn't enjoy it, and isn't that passionate about sex. Making sure you want each other is important, and how you express it can be a new sexually creative adventure.<\/p>\n
Some common sexual problems have clinical causes that can be effectively treated in primary care, such as vaginal dryness, menopausal factors, vulvodynia, thrush, sexually transmitted infections, and erectile dysfunction. First and foremost, visiting your therapist or sexologist can be a helpful starting point. Going to the doctor with a partner is a practical way to build mutual support.<\/p>\n