<\/a><\/p>\nTo check how things really stand with the roommates, Ishizuka took questionnaires for 1996-2013 from the US Census Bureau and selected about 5,300 couples. It turned out that if a woman earned more money, then this was not an obstacle to marriage. But a significant difference in income – no matter in whose favor – often led to separation.<\/p>\n
Specialization, when one partner was engaged in a career and the other at home, did not strengthen the relationship: the difference in the number of working hours for both parted and married turned out to be approximately the same. But among the married cohabitants, both spouses were more likely to work full-time. The role of a man-earner is becoming a thing of the past, and the stereotype cannot keep up with him.<\/p>\n
The hypotheses about the total income were confirmed. The married couples had a significantly higher total income than the rest; they more often owned housing and financial assets. At the same time, income growth increased the chance of a wedding, only until they reached the “marriage bar,” that is, the amount is more than half of American families. Having passed this mark, incomes influenced the outcome of the relationship not so unambiguously.<\/p>\n
Ishizuka discovered other patterns as well. Women with higher education had more chances to get married, but if a girl studied full-time at a university, her chances of marriage fell. And for men, in order to find a spouse, it was good at least to graduate from school. Government benefits for the poor increased the risk of separation. Common children fastened alliances, and stepchildren and stepdaughters loosened. Finally, in general, the likelihood that roommates will get married decreased from 1996 to 2008 by 28%, but the risk of separation fell by 16%: more and more Americans prefer to just live together without observing the formalities.<\/p>\n
“In Russia in recent years, marriage (the process of forming married couples – approx. TASS) is associated with the economic situation in the country. During the crisis, the number of marriages fell by about 10%, and as soon as last year there was a way out, this figure immediately increased.<\/p>\n
They get married mainly to have children. That is why the crisis has affected this way: people proceed from the fact that it is better to give birth to a child in a quiet time. If one of the partners has lost their job or is afraid that they will soon lose it, then the couple probably will not dare to have children. This can be seen from the birth rate statistics, which dropped noticeably last year (the birth rate changes with a delay relative to nuptiality).<\/p>\n
In the West, especially in Scandinavia, there is no such rigid connection between marriage and having children: more couples postpone this matter for later or give birth out of wedlock. We also have a lot of such families, but not so many. And America, it seems to me, is somewhere in the middle between liberal European countries and Russia “<\/p>\n
Why do people live without registering<\/h4>\n
Ishizuka showed that there is more to cohabitation than mere desire, much less promiscuity. Perhaps the views of people who decide to move in are less traditional, they value equality between men and women – this is also stated in other studies. Relationships between cohabitants are not built on bargaining, as in the days of powerless housewives, but on cooperation. And the younger people are, the more often they share the ideals of equality.<\/p>\n
But Ishizuka discovered another, unsightly, side of cohabitation. Marriage is gradually becoming the privilege of wealthy people, and the poor can only rent a corner. The worse your education and the less you earn, the less likely you are to exchange rings with someone and the higher the risk of losing your loved one. When people just live under the same roof, they are less dependent on each other economically than in marriage. Only in the context of growing property stratification does not necessarily make them freer and happier.<\/p>\n
Find a soul mate?<\/h4>\n
It's one thing – the difference in characters, but quite another – different views on life, different worldviews … If one of the partners is lively and sociable, and the other is restrained and withdrawn, they, in principle, can get used to each other and even in the future perfectly complement each other. But if, say, one adheres to liberal-democratic views on politics, and the other – patriotic, then “irreconcilable contradictions” may arise. After all, sooner or later, politics will definitely come up.
\nWho among us does not dream of meeting our soul mate, “kindred spirit”? It is not for nothing that people indicate in profiles on dating sites that they would like to meet a person with similar interests. For example, if a man loves an active lifestyle, then it is clear that he wants a woman to go hiking or travel with him. If a person is an adherent of any religion or philosophical doctrine, then it is not surprising that he dreams of meeting a partner who shares the principles of this doctrine.
\nMy close friend is Orthodox. I, though baptized, am fond of esotericism, I believe in the law of karma. In general, the principles of Eastern philosophy are more close to me. On this basis, we constantly have skirmishes. My friend is trying to convince me that Christianity is the only true teaching. And I answer that I recognize him only as one of the many religions that exist on the globe. And that belief in God does not necessarily imply the observance of certain traditions and rituals. For example, from time to time I go to church, but I do not feel any need to take communion and confess … And I don't understand why I am worse than others if I don\u2019t do it. And why do I have to be a Christian? .. Just because I live in Russia?
\nWe are having heated discussions. However, we do not break up or think about ending the relationship. By the way: I have met many men who were interested in esotericism as much as I am, but relations with them did not work out. Either they did not attract me, or I – them. By the way, the same thing happened with my friend – he met with Orthodox girls, but the relationship lasted no more than a few months. And our relationship has been going on for several years.<\/p>\n
General declines, but does not oblige<\/h4>\n
Undoubtedly, common interests and outlook on life can bring people closer, but this is not at all a guarantee that they will stay together. How many examples do we know of when couples that have a lot in common break up? Let's say, artists, musicians … The reason may be competition: one of the partners thinks that the other is “overshadowing” him. Or one wants to have a real family, a home, and a partner has concerts, shooting, tours all the time … As a result, a man finds a wife who does not understand anything about art, but she washes his clothes and cooks borscht well. Or a woman marries an ordinary manager who will at least come home from work at eight in the evening and take care of her …
\nSituations are not uncommon when partners, who seem to have a lot in common, suddenly realize that there is no main thing – real attraction, love … And “they go all out.” Often with people with whom there is nothing in common, but who are attracted to them sexually or emotionally.<\/p>\n
How to “smooth out” the difference?<\/h4>\n
As you can see, the community or difference of interests still does not determine anything definitively. What if you realized that you are “too different”, and you don\u2019t want to break up because of this relationship?
\nTry to learn to respect each other's views. After all, an opinion about something else does not mean that a person is good or bad, or that he suits you or does not suit you. Especially if these views do not relate to personal relationships.
\nDon't bring up issues on which you disagree. Or discuss without getting personal. Do not try to win a person over to your side, do not put pressure on him, trying to radically change his worldview. This is more likely to cause negative emotions in him than lead to the result you want.
\nFind common ground. Even the most diverse people have them. Let's say you both love the same movies or books, or you have the same sexual preferences, the same views on the relationship between a man and a woman, on a family …
\nTry to see positive qualities in your partner. Ask him to tell you what he likes about you.
\nAppreciate what he gives you – love, care, a sense of support. Ask yourself which is more important to you – this or your “ideological” differences.<\/p>\n
Development opportunity<\/h4>\n
Numerous experiments and studies have shown that a person is able to remain human, as well as self-realization and self-improvement, only being surrounded by other people. It is natural for a person to look at himself through the prism of social relations, it is vitally important for him to exchange information of a different nature (for example, knowledge and feelings) with others.<\/p>\n
Cut off from society, sooner or later he begins to lose basic skills: the ability to communicate, knowledge of the language, habits inherent in homo sapiens. And after a while he turns into an animal, having lost everything human that was given to him by nature.<\/p>\n
Therefore, already at a subconscious level, a person understands the importance of social, physical, emotional contacts with other people, and therefore supports them in every possible way. This is a kind of self-preservation instinct for one's own personality.<\/p>\n
Support<\/h4>\n
Of course, there are many strong-minded people in the world. They are decisive, with remarkable endurance and faith in themselves, ready again and again to overcome any hardships in life, relying only on their own strength. However, are they happy? Or, perhaps, deep down in their hearts, they dream of sharing their sorrows, defeats and problems with other people in order to somehow lighten the burden?<\/p>\n
Be that as it may, but most people still need the support of relatives, relatives and friends. Even just good advice, an encouraging smile, strong sincere hugs can give a surge of new strength and faith in good and miracles. This is why people strive to be together.<\/p>\n
Love, family<\/h4>\n
Some say that love is just a chain of biochemical processes in the human body that make a person experience a complex set of feelings for another person. Others are sure that love is a highly spiritual feeling that is born in the depths of the soul. There are also skeptics who believe that love does not exist at all.<\/p>\n
However, regardless of which side we choose, such a complex, multifaceted feeling of love will not go anywhere. We will still be drawn to the opposite sex. We will dream of a vivid, rich, passionate, tender and romantic relationship. And let someone after a while have a desire to change their partner, but few will nevertheless choose the path of loneliness, because to love and be loved is wonderful!<\/p>\n
In the event that you and your soulmate feel comfortable, easy and pleasant, then you may well want to start a family. After all, procreation is one of the key tasks of man on the planet, it is an unconditioned reflex given to us by nature itself. And since it is necessary to take care of the offspring, then people unite, because it is much easier to perform this task together. Here's another reason for striving to be paired with someone.<\/p>\n
Sex<\/h4>\n
General preferences in bed: it doesn't matter what you like – BDSM or the almost complete lack of intimacy – two people should like it. The body finds passion and peace next to a partner, but moral satisfaction does not always depend on the fact of orgasm alone. Sex is not for the sake of orgasm, but sex for the sake of sex.<\/p>\n
Food<\/h4>\n
Nothing good will come of it if one of the partners starves the other in the name of a healthy lifestyle and diets. If someone is already very much fixated on proper nutrition, then let them indulge half of them with chic healthy food. Interests in food should coincide. The wording “lose weight – together!” Does not work here if only one wants it, but at the same time forces the other. You can never severely restrict food against your will. And to overeat, and to lose weight – only in a mutual mood.<\/p>\n
Games<\/h4>\n
You can also take a break from the gray days together. Fooling around with water pistols at 50 or playing chess at 20.<\/p>\n
Sport<\/h4>\n
Success in sports brings people closer together, just like difficulties. Sports fanaticism, which often comes in the case of a strong hobby, it is better to experience together, so as not to move away from the half.<\/p>\n
Animals<\/h4>\n
Love for animals is a special aspect of a relationship. Special feelings emerge here, different from those that are inherent in just child couples. Children and animals evoke approximately the same range of emotions, except that the former often limit the couple's capabilities and cause irritation. The animal also needs to be educated, but its training gives more satisfaction from a certain sense of the correctness of your actions. The results of training are always correct, unlike raising a child. In addition, the animal will love you and remain faithful forever.<\/p>\n
Books \/ Movies<\/h4>\n
Common vectors of development and jokes that only you two can understand are what will give you the same books. New topics for discussion and deeper knowledge of each other. You learn to understand your partner's way of thinking, develop your own erudition, and have fun together.<\/p>\n
Territorial proximity<\/h2>\n
The more often social contacts between two people, the more likely it is that friendship or love relations will be established between them. Thus, we have much more chances to start a family with someone from our inner circle than with a person living in another country.<\/p>\n
Physical attractiveness<\/h3>\n
A handsome, physically attractive person is attributed by others to more advantageous qualities. In the eyes of those around them, beautiful people look smarter, more honest and spiritual.<\/p>\n
However, those who do not have unconditional beauty should not be upset. Psychologists have noticed that people whose adolescence success was due to their attractiveness, at a more mature age, experienced more difficulties in social adaptation compared to those who had to rely on their inner qualities all their lives.<\/p>\n
Similarity and complementarity<\/h3>\n
As a rule, a person experiences a greater attraction to those who are similar to himself externally, in social origin, in interests and views. Mutual attraction based on opposite properties is much less common.<\/p>\n
Complementarity is important both for establishing relationships (people choose each other by mutual similarity) and for maintaining them (here complementarity is a factor of stability).<\/p>\n
Mutual reward<\/h3>\n
Communication between people is rarely selfless. It is necessary that for a fairly long period of time it brings benefits and satisfaction to both parties.<\/p>\n
Sources used and useful links on the topic: https:\/\/www.psychologies.ru\/standpoint\/11-privyichek-schastlivyih-par\/<\/a> http:\/\/sam-sebe-psycholog.ru\/articles\/prichiny-po-kotorym-my- nachinaem-romanticheskie-otnosheniya-vstrechaemsya-i-sozdaem-semi<\/a> https:\/\/dnevnyk-uspeha.com\/otnosheniya\/zachem-nuzhny-otnoshenija.html<\/a> https:\/\/elhow.ru\/stati-dlja-vzroslyh\/otnoshenija- semja \/ postroenie-otnoshenij \/ pochemu-ljudi-vstrechajutsja<\/a> https:\/\/LoveTrue.ru\/sovety\/vstrechatsya-chto-eto-znachit-dlya-muzhchin-i-zhenschin.html<\/a> https:\/\/nauka.tass.ru\/nauka\/ 5136868<\/a> https:\/\/www.myjane.ru\/articles\/text\/?id=16587<\/a> https:\/\/elhow.ru\/otnoshenija-i-semja-1\/pochemu-ljudi-vmeste<\/a> https:\/\/artzine.me\/articles\/ chto-sblizhaet-lyudej-6-obshhix-privychek.html<\/a> https:\/\/MedPortal.ru\/enc\/psychology\/relations\/4\/<\/a><\/p>\nPost source:
lastici.ru<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"What does every couple need to know in order to maintain a relationship for years to come?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":415658,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[328,318,151,262,251,273],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-325469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-for-men","category-for-women","category-lifehacks","category-love-and-relationships","category-miscellaneous","category-psychology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=325469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325469\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/415658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=325469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=325469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inform.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=325469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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